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Social anxiety at university

powerfulSugar8787 February 20th, 2016

I have struggled with social anxiety for many years but have only just started recieving help. I have always been determined not to let my anxiety and my fears (which stem from years of bullying) get in the way of my dreams so I am currently studying medicine. The treatment I'm having is really helping and I am getting much better at talking to people and contributing in group work but there are something's I'm just not ready for. We fairly regularly have to do group presentations and my group really tried to get me to do the talking with no preparation time this week. I started panicking and tried to explain that I couldn't. Eventually someone else agreed to do it instead. I feel like I let them down. My friends were saying things like 'just grow up' and 'get over it'. They don't know what I struggle with but I can't tell them. I feel so stupid and pathetic. I was feeling so good last week until that happened, like I was finally getting better but now I just feel like a failure. I don't know what to do.

2
RainbowTrie February 21st, 2016

@powerfulSugar8787

Thank you for bravely putting your struggles out there.

It sounds like you know that you're making great strides but you're also aware of your limitations. You made your needs and limitations clear and I'm sorry their reactions were cruel. You deserve friends who will respect you boundaries and support your growth.

I'm so glad to hear that you've started the path to recieving help. It, of course, takes time and perserversence so please don't feel discouraged - you're on the right track :)

Also, thank you for studying medicine. I believe in your ability to keep growing and one day make great progress the medical field.

Daydreamer47 February 23rd, 2016

Thanks for sharing! I have social anxiety as well. One thing I learned from going to therapy is that I have to be the one to decide when I take risks socially. It is important to "put yourself out there" but don't let anybody force/coerce you. That makes them a bad friend.

I have seen on the self-help guides I think the idea of making a list of things that make you anxious and rank them. #1 saying hi to the cashier at the grocery store up to #100 giving a speech on national tv. Then you start at the lowest level and work your way up. Give yourself a reward such as ice cream for completing them, even the small ones. :)