Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav

Social Anxiety at Small Party

Gymqueen09 December 13th, 2019

So I went to this small get together with friends of my boyfriend. We hung out at first and I didn't say too much as I wasn't sure where I fit into this already established group dynamic but it wasn't bad. We then switched over to one of their houses for a small party and that's where it got worse for me. All the guys were talking and all the girls were dancing and having fun and even though I like to dance, I didn't. I just held onto the counter for support as I felt my chest get tighter and my heart beat faster. I didn't know what to do with my hands and I just kept thinking about how lame they must think I am.

My boyfriend was really supportive in trying to get me to relax and not leaving me alone the whole time but after a certain point I couldn't take it. Nothing I seemed to do calmed me down until I had an anxiety attack. One of the girls brought me to a space where I could take a break with my boyfriend but the embarrassement of not being able to handle the party only made my attack worse. I ended up hiding up in that room until the end of the party because I didn't think I could face anyone after what had happened.

Anyone have an similar situations to this or tips on how to overcome this? Everything is appreciated <3

3
Zegiel2323 December 14th, 2019

@Gymqueen09 I have this general principle that if you understand the facts in front of you, the picture becomes much clearer. With a clear picture, your mind is less afraid or anxious. But the less clear, the more likely you are to experience those anxious feelings.

In this situation, you went to a small party. First ignoring the beginning of your night, where you said everything was okay, it's obvious you were entering into a situation that was new to you. The situation, as a result, was less clear to you. Perhaps there are reasons that made it that way, including a new place, new dynamic, drinking, etc.. That is unclear from your initial post. However, assuming there were things going down at this new place that you were unfamiliar with, there was disclarity. And with that disclarity, it was likely that your mind start running off in all different directions, creating anxiety.

Next time, when you feel that coming on again, applying remedies to make the picture clearer in your head is great. For example, to name things in the room in front of you as you see them, (drink, wall, tv, etc.) can help paint a clear picture of the room in your head. This helps relieve anxiety for me sometimes. Also, there's the idea of keeping a familiar object with you, like a rock, in a pocket. grasping it when you feel anxious can help remind you of the situation in reality, once again painting a clearer picture in front of you.

Hope this helps!

BZ

1 reply
Gymqueen09 OP December 14th, 2019

Hey @Zegiel2323, thanks for your reply. To clarify, yes it was a new place, with people, most of whom were drinking. I personally don't drink so I guess I was extra aware of my surroundings. I think your idea of making the situation more familiar in my mind could be very helpful for me, and I will definitely try it! I appreciate you reaching out and giving some suggestions that I can use going forward. Anything at this point helps.

Thanks again! <3

load more