Potential agoraphobia? Social anxiety in public? How do I deal with this?

I wasn't too sure which forum to put this in, since there were so many categories. So I decided to post in the forum I thought was the most appropriate. However, if it was posted in the wrong place then I apologize in advance.
I also would like to apologize in advance for the fact that the following post will be very long.

This is something I've been struggling with for a few years now. I can't go outside without feeling really frustrated, angry, and paranoid because I hate rude people.
I don't know if it's just in my head but I seem to meet a lot of rude people lately.
For example:
i.) Bumping into me and not apologizing (and not just subtly brushing against me, which is annoying in itself, but quite literally shoulder checking me and then giving ME a dirty look)
ii.) I would go on a bus and then get called "asshole" for moving a little slower than other people because I am holding a big suit case (which as much as I understand his impatience, isn't calling people "asshole" for that a little too much? I wasn't even in anybody's way, I made sure I was the last one to get off so I don't trouble anybody and still I get yelled at...? By the BUS DRIVER? Busses don't even run on a schedule here so what's the rush...?)
iii.) I went into a restaurant and the waiter would treat me like crap because I have a relatively difficult to hear voice (not because it's super quiet, but the general quality of my voice is quite husky and low key sounding like my mother, who also has a difficult-to-hear-voice) and he'd blame me for getting all the orders wrong on my voice when I have clearly articulated to him what I wanted. That waiter was arrogant as fuck too, damn.

I mean sure, not everybody is rude, but when it does happen it hurts me a lot. Now, I'm not the type to make a big scene in public, I wasn't raised like that. I don't like screaming, I don't like fighting. I don't like the idea of me hurting other people. Cause even if it's a stranger like me saying it, words can hurt, and I don't want to push anybody over the edge by saying shit back.

However, there are times that I do give in and get angry and shout back at them and I start feeling really guilty. Like I've done something I shouldn't have done. Sure, they may have stopped calling me names or doing shit to me, but what have I achieved besides degrade myself?
This is really frustrating because: a.) If I don't do something I will beat myself up for being a "pussy" and b.) If I DO do something then I've lowered myself to their level and also I may have potentially hurt somebody which is something I don't like to do. I don't like to think of myself as a person who commits any form of violence, whether it be physical or verbal, because I like to maintain my moral integrity.

There are also some days when I look back at a person who shoulder checked me or whatever like one or two years ago and I get really aggravated. INSANE, I KNOW. I hold grudges like a motherfucker, I'm not gonna lie, and it's poisoning my life.

Another point of frustration is the fact that I cannot express this feeling to any of my family or friends. The truth is, this constant anger and stress from going outside has caused me to become home bound for the most part (though I can still force myself to go outside, I cannot go out for longer than 1 hour at a time without hyperventilating or getting extremely anxious). None of my friends know this besides one person, whom I regret telling about this to as he didn't seem particularly interested (which, although understandable as human beings have limited resources that they can share, even to friends, at the same time it is unacceptable to me as I have put trust upon this person as my friend and that trust was seemingly not reciprocated. However, I could be setting high standards).
I have told my father about this situation as I do not trust my mother (years of neglect, toxic relationship, long story short, we ain't tight). I felt that he cared but he seemed confused as to what he should do. Also I felt like he did not completely comprehend exactly what I was going through (or in general what I was feeling), and therefore would try to be considerate towards me by saying things such as, "Perhaps we shouldn't go there, I know how much you do not like places with lots of people". As much as I appreciate his efforts, when he says those sort of things it makes me feel like I am "disabled" or mentally "ill" in some way, which I am not. I am like every other human being, I merely need a little help. I didn't say this to him though, I know he means well.
So I went on this website (7cups) to talk to a few people about this issue but I haven't really found anything helpful so far. Which is part of the reason why I decided to write this post, I was thinking maybe some people word their thoughts better if its in essay form rather than over a spontaneous chat and therefore I would find more relevant and helpful answers.
Therefore, all of this makes me feel even more annoyed, because when I look for support I either find people who flat out don't care or people who care but don't know how to support me. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that I'd like to deal with this alone (though deep down, like everybody else, I think it'd be nice if there was somebody out there to help me out).

I also sometimes wonder if I'm just a rude people magnet, cause I don't look intimidating. I'm just a petite skinny ass little asian girl, and honestly I look like a walking baby shrimp. Also I wear glasses. Yes, I'm a baby shrimp with glasses.
*shrimp shrimp*
Anyways, if I really am a rude people magnet, then I really gotta learn how to deal with this, cause that means I'll have a higher chance of meeting these motherfuckers, right? But yea, this thought pisses me off too, cause I shouldn't have to think whether I am a rude person magnet or whether I look vulnerable or not! It doesn't matter what vibe a person emits, people shouldn't treat other people like trash in the first place. And you'd think that's common sense! Where do these idiots come from?

In a nutshell, I get frustrated at rude people. Regardless of whether or not I act upon the rude actions of these people, the end result is that I will feel negatively and critical towards myself, whether it be the feeling of being a wimp or being guilty. I hold grudges and that pisses me off too from time to time. In addition, I hate the idea that I might be being judged by my appearance and deemed "bully-able". I am also frustrated that I do not seemingly have anybody that I can count on. Honestly, I don't really want anybody to know and I've fooled everybody else so far (except one friend and my dad) so I'd like to keep it this way.
All of these problems are causing me to be increasingly home bound too, and I'd like to be able to go outside comfortably and peacefully again.

I think what I want help in is:

1.) I'd like to be able to ignore these rude people. What would be a good justification to ignore these rude people? Because I do feel like a wimp. What is the reason that I am not a wimp for ignoring these people? Please convince me.

2.) I'd like to be able to not think that every person I pass is going to do something mean to me. Because I get really paranoid especially when they walk really close to me (I live in Hong Kong, where the concept of personal space is non-existent).
(Strangely enough, people here seem angrier too. Big city problems? Either way I know I gotta learn how to deal with it.)

3.) How do I let go of these bad past experiences? How do I stop holding grudges? Because I know that holding grudges is bad for my psyche, but clearly merely having an incentive to not hold grudges isn't enough for me to eliminate them. I shouldn't be thinking about a stranger who bumped into me years ago. In fact, for the sake of getting adequate help I'm going to ashamedly admit, I even think about murdering them using various methods, that's how angry I get.

4.) Do you have any extra suggestions/thoughts/comments regarding the problems that I have listed?

Thank you for reading this long ass post, I really appreciate it.