My Anxiety prevents me from doing things

@lilylovelace

From what you described it sounds like really bad social anxiety. Thing is it will only get worst if you feed that, aka you don't face it.

I can't say is easy because I also suffer from the same. But go out everyday, even if is literally just 10 mins outside of the house.

Everyday you let your anxiety win, is one more day its growing stronger and will become harder to overcome in the future.

Build a ladder everyday, aka push forward and do small things to fight it. Like ... take a deap breath and tell your bf "we're eating this today" or "hey let's go to the park today", and don't think about it. I'll repeat do NOT think about things, just be spontaneous. The more you think the harder your anxiety will grow and you'll panic.

Just "spit it out".

Also if your anxiety is getting to this point you really are needing a therapist. Anxiety can easily be controlled with professional help.

A quick suggestions that i feel to give is to write down in a paper the emotions that you feel inside in those situations. I believe that we are, also professional, looking for new and-or complicated techniques when the most effective ways are still the simplest ones. I was experiencing this in my job using many different techniques that were helping, sure, but as self help i can not think of anything more effective than expressive writing. If you get the habit to do it 15 minutes a day it will help a lot, i promise!

@lilylovelace Oh man, it sounds to me like the difficulty with decision making is affecting the anxiety. I mean, it's all connected, right? I wonder if it might be helpful to double down and focus on making decisions for yourself, even the small ones? And perhaps it is a good idea to postpone the vacation for a bit until you feel that your anxiety is more controlled. I hope that you aren't being too hard on yourself about not wanting to go because that is totally understandable when you're feeling so anxious. I also struggle to find motivation and make decisions when my anxiety flares up. Something that I have found helpful is to make quick decisions so that I can't deliberate or overthink. I have used something like the 5-second-rule where I sort of think like "5-4-3-2-1 GO" and then I take action on my decision. I'm sorry that you are battling such anxiety and I hope that your boyfriend continues to support you, even when it gets tough. Best of luck to you on your journey and I am sending good vibes your way.

@lilylovelace Hey! Wow, I can definitely see how annoyingly stressful that all must be for you, and possibly your boyfriend. You're both taking on a lot. But, the good news is anxiety can be fixed. Having GAD is far more simple than what you have mentioned throughout this post.

I've struggled with quite a lot of different kinds of anxiety over the course of my life. With that being said, I must say I agree with the others. This sounds like social anxiety. I'd say 7/10 in how bad it is, so yes right now it can get worse, but don't linger on that thought, because again, anxiety can be fixed.

If you haven't already, finding a professional is highly recommended. You can always find a church therapist. They don't charge, (usually). Or, finding an accountability partner if all else fails on that search. To some extent, you have your boyfriend as an accountability partner, but he's also your boyfriend. Even he, occasionally needs some time to process his own emotions on things.

* An accountability partner is someone you trust or maybe a listener here, that can hold you accountable when you don't go through with your goals, and also help set those goals.

There are many great things listed above that can be of help, but from my experience... I will list the most helpful.

An accountability partner. (They can be there for you when you just need to vent, calm down, etc. They can help you set goals, and hold you accountable when you don't, or congratulate and motivate you when you do achieve them.)

Meditation. (Focusing on your breathing, and possibly finding yourself a mantra to softly chant, is a big help when you get home, and you just need some time to recover.)

Fidgeting. (Finding something to fidget with while you're out, such as a stress ball to squeeze, a fidget cube, playdough, or something heated between your hands cam really help take your focus from the anxiety of being around people.)

I wish you the best of luck in everything!

@lilylovelace

All this can sure seem overwhelming to do. You don't want to depend on anyone, at the same time you don't want anxiety to stop you from living your life. Your spirit to even get up and decide to do things is a great first step! But when we are not able to do what we want to, we tend to be really harsh on ourselves. We tend to conclude things about ourselves. We judge ourselves like we judge no other.

I would say, try the opposite, turn that inner voice into a compassionate and supportive one. Support yourself through every step, like you would, to your friend. If you fail, remember you are a human! All of us fail at a billion things! Let that inner voice tell you, it is ok, you have done what you could to it's best. Now let us see this as an opportunity to try again.

Again, I really love your spirit to not let anxiety stop you! Good luck!