Imagining a situation never occurred. Accepting your looks?
How you stop these thoughts?
'If that hadn't happened, this situation wouldn't have occurred. So instead I'll imagine an alternative reality where that problem didn't happen'
Thats general question. But more specifically, I'm often thinking it's possible that my appearance was affected by something when I was younger.
say for example you had an accident or you got braces too young and your face didn't develop like you'd expect. This maybe the case. I imagine what life would be like if it developed 'normally'. I feel like you get more respect everywhere. I think peopl laugh at me as I have larger body neck, and good looking top half of face, but comparatively small recessed jaw or 'turkey neck', so ppl may laugh. I may have been good looking if dentist didn't affect forwardgrowth
don't know for suremy face now is naturally how I would have looked, but let's just assume it isn't as I'm convinced when I see myself
looking at old photos is really hard. Thinking what the dentist did frustrates me. And I know this is material and vain. It's not important in life and I don't want ppl to judge looks either, but it comes into head a lot. Maybe I'll just catch a glimpse in mirror and think if only.
Assuming myface has changed
how do I accept tis may be what I look like for rest of life?
(If I was naturally ugly I'd accept. If naturally good looking I'd accept but I don't know if this my genes or external, but I'm grateful anyway)
@Ynwa2014 dear, all human beings are ugly compared to rabbits.
i mean like you're fretting over being between a 1 (you currently) vs a 1 (your ideal self) out of the 10 that is this majestic creature.
@Ynwa2014
Hello Ynwa, first of all, I'm glad you took the time to write your story and ask for help (even if they may be from strangers like me).
I think I can kind of empathise with and understand how you feel, at least regarding looks and how it causes low self esteem.
Anyways I just wanted to say that the way you feel is perfectly fine.
Firstly you don't have to force yourself to change the way you percieve yourself. If you don't like the way you look, ok. It is, as it is. The thing is, being self conscious about your looks is understandable, right? Sure, it is a "superficial" problem, but is it really? When people first see you or first meet you, and they don't actually "know" you, they would judge you by the way you look, no? So it's fine to be worried about this. (Now I'm not saying panic about it. I'm just saying, don't give yourself a hard time for being upset about it because it's perfectly understandable.)
Secondly, could you not find another dentist and describe to them that you would like to change your faceshape? Or maybe even a plastic surgeon? If a dentist can change your face shape in an undesirable manner, they could surely do it in a desirable manner?
Now I'm not advocating plastic surgery or any medical procedure, but I'm just saying that, if the way you look bothers you so much, that is an option you could consider.
Thirdly, there are some people who looked ugly as poop and then turned into a very attractive person later on in their life.
Look at the guy who played Neville in Harry Potter. He was the saddest looking kid in the franchise, and now he grew up to be the most handsome looking guy out of all of the actors.
And this is George Clooney when he was young. He looks like a pedophile in that photo, yet now he is known as one of the most sexiest men alive.
So will you actually look the way you do forever? Probably not.
Who knows, maybe your lower half of your face would look super awesome with all it's "flaws" when you age, right?
If you don't accept yourself, you don't have to. There really is no need. Just let yourself be.
Eventually when you get to a time when you can accept yourself, then you naturally will. There's no rush.
I'll say this, if you can accept yourself if you were naturally beautiful/ugly, what stops you from accepting your current looks (which I'm sure isn't ugly) that resulted from your life circumstances, which by the way, are as uncontrollable as your DNA?