How to overcome Social Anxiety ?

Six ways to overcome Social Anxiety

1. Try a self-help manual.

Self-help manuals are designed to supplement therepy, but theyre also good tools for working on your own.

2. Work with a therapist.

If social anxiety is stopping you from doing things you want or need to do, or you havent had much success with self-help, seek professional help. Find a therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders.

3. Practice deep breathing every day.

Its helpful to engage in deep breathing before an anxiety-provoking social situation. But practice this technique every day. This way it becomes second nature, and you dont hyperfocus on deep breathing and miss an entire conversation.

4. Create an exposure hierarchy.

An exposure hierarchy is a list — akin to a ladder — where you write down situations that cause you anxiety, in order of severity. Then you perform the easiest behavior, and keep moving up the list.

5. Create objective goals.

People tend to disqualify the positive when they feel anxious. They might do well, even great, but because of their anxious feelings, they see their performance as abysmal. Thats why therapists encourage clients to create objective behavioral goals

These are behaviors that anyone in the room would be able to observe. It doesnt matter how you feel or whether youre blushing or sweating (which you cant control anyway) in a social situation.

For instance, if youre working in a group setting, the objective behavior would be to make three comments.

This also gives you a good barometer for judging your progress. Again, youre not focusing on whether you felt nervous. Rather, youre focusing on whether you performed the actual behavior.

Also, avoid focusing on others reactions. It doesnt matter how your colleagues received your idea in the meeting. What matters is that you actually spoke up. It doesnt matter whether a girl or guy said yes to your dinner invite. What matters is that you actually asked. It doesnt matter how your childs teacher reacted when you declined to volunteer for yet another school trip. What matters is that you were assertive and respected your own needs.

6. Keep a rational outlook.

Dispute both bleak thoughts that undermine your performance and fuel your anxiety, and equally unrealistic thoughts that are irrationally positive.

For instance, if youre giving a speech, you might initially think, Im going to bomb. But if youve given speeches before and done well, then this isnt a rational or realistic perspective. You might say instead, Ive given speeches before. Im prepared, and Ill give it my best shot.

If youre asking someone out, its not rational to think, Theyre definitely going to say yes. But it is rational to consider, They might,

If social anxiety is sabotaging your goals and stopping you from living the life you want, seek help and try the above strategies. Social anxiety is highly treatable. You can get better, and grow in the process.