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How do you cope with social anxiety if you're extroverted?

heyImSaara September 30th, 2016

I'm very extroverted. I love being around people, but at the same time, I'm terrified of them. I'm constantly torn between wanting to be around them or wanting to avoid them. I'm afraid to talk sometimes because I get nervous and talk too much, and then i drive people away, which makes me feel isolated, and I feel even more anxious and I'm not sure what to do..

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annapaviacounselor October 1st, 2016

@heyImSaara

hi one thing you should understand is what am I afraid of? you are attracted to people and yet you fear ...what?

Has something happened in your life before that triggered your fears?

I would also advise you to try some therapy sessions because they could definitly help but if you do not wish to do so, I think the best thing would be embrace your fear, do not judge yourself but at the same time ask yourself very small steps forward...in order to slowly acquire confidence...a very small step ..is always a step forward

and being extroverted you will find strenght as you reach others

a big hug

4 replies
heyImSaara OP October 13th, 2016

@annapaviacounselor I've tried therapy sessions, but it's been a bit difficult with seeing a therapist in person. I'm trying the online therapy thing for 7 cups, but I'm not getting a response.

3 replies
annapaviacounselor October 13th, 2016

@heyImSaara

I think you are going to get a response soon, therapists here usually answer at least once a day...but do not stop serching for the right situation or person for you, it is possible to feel better, do not give up. I know sometimes it is not easy even trying looking for help but it is important.

Daydreamer47 October 14th, 2016

@heyImSaara also try joyable.com. I just started it. We'll see how it goes. It's for social anxiety specifically.

1 reply
Roadie October 15th, 2016

@Daydreamer47

Oh, that's fantastic for you to share this, Daydreamer47. Thank you :)

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Roadie October 15th, 2016

@heyImSaara

I can somewhat relate to this as I hate to be on my own but I'm terrified of people as well.

When I went through dealing with my own social anxiety, I tried to concentrate less on my own performance and externalise more on the person that I was interacting with instead. If you click with someone, you click with them but, honestly, we'll never click with everyone if that makes sense. If we don't click with someone, it has nothing to do with us, it just is what it is.

Whomever you talk to from the therapy side of things will likely help you with externalising and getting past your fear. I just want you to take away that if you don't click with someone, it's nothing to do with you; you've done nothing wrong; and you've got nothing to correct. You're perfectly alright in yourself while just being yourself.