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Feeling like a fraud

powerfulSugar8787 January 15th, 2016

Hi, I've recently been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. The problem is I never realised how significant a part it was playing in my life. Things I used to believe we're 'just me' I now recognise as symptoms. I have need started on medication for it and have been referred for CBT (something I'm terrified about). I feel like I'm loosing my identity. I feel like a fraud and I don't know why. I know there are so many people in the world going through worse things than me so I feel guilty for accepting help. I know the things I feel are irrational and illogical but I can't do anything about it. I'm not really sure what I'm expecting from writing this, I guess I just needed to talk to someone. I can't talk to anyone in person, just need some support right now.

Louise

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Lyra January 15th, 2016

@powerfulSugar8787

Hello, lovely Louise, welcome to 7 Cups. I am so glad that you are here, in spite of all that you face. It's brave, one of the bravest things that you can do to ask for help. Even if it feels like a weakness to you, identifying what needs to change is the first, and most important step.

It's a funny one, isn't it, gaining a diagnosis. In some ways, it's a relief - as you so eloquently say: all the things that you thought were ''just you'', you now know to be symptoms. However, labels and diagnoses can also be limiting and shameful to others. How did you feel, when you were first told of your label?

I have personal experience of CBT, and I enjoyed it in as much as anyone can enjoy therapy ;) I got on really well with the guy doing it, and he gave me a great toolkit to go about reordering my thoughts and thought processes. If you'd like to find out a bit more about it, there's an NHS page about it here, and a Mind one here.

In terms of what you say about feeling like a fraud, that your thoughts and problems don't matter, I have three points to make:

1.) We are all different

Everybody goes through tough periods in their life, but we all react differently to them. Your feelings and concerns are yours, only yours, and only you know what it's like to be you.

2.) You are still the same person

You have a label now, but you're still the person that you've always been, a unique and special person with so much to offer. Having social anxiety doesn't change who you are.

3.) I have to display this pictorally, forgive me:

Please, keep talking, please keep seeking help. I would be honoured if you chose to reach out to me, but this place has a lot of support to offer you - check out the chatrooms, the social anxiety forums - it's up to you. Just remember that you are so loved, and so supported here, and that your feelings and thoughts matter.

All my love, Lyra

1 reply
powerfulSugar8787 OP January 15th, 2016

Thank you so much for your kind words. It really means a lot to me that there are people there who will support me.

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professionalPerspective60 January 15th, 2016

Hi there @powerfulSugar8787

First of all I wanted to thank you for expressing your feelings here in the forums today, I understand how hard it can be at times to reach out for support especially if you are not used to doing so, but it's a brave move, so honestly well done for that!

Secondly, the most important factor you have to remember here is you are now receiving help for your diagnosis, and sometimes I feel the fear of the Unknown Is far greater than dealing with the therapy you are about to receive.

I can promise you one thing, this will be better for you, you will be able to manage your symptoms much better Louise, once you have explored new coping techniques which CBT will teach you along with self belief and confidence sessions!

You should be proud of your self hun because you are accepting change and facing it head on.

Id love to hear how you get on, so please feel free to send me a message any time you want to chat 🙂

Best of luck Emma

2 replies
powerfulSugar8787 OP January 15th, 2016

Thank you so much for your support. That was exactly what I needed to hear today x

1 reply
professionalPerspective60 January 15th, 2016

@powerfulSugar8787

Your very welcome sweetheart!

Stay strong hun! You can do this! ❤️

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powerfulSugar8787 OP January 21st, 2016

I finally went to see the therapist today. It was the most terrifying thing i've ever done and I found it incredibly difficult. I feel like i didn't tell the therapist everything i should- I found myself saying I don't know to a lot of the quesitons- and I couldnt be totally honnest, however much i wanted to. But i did it! still feeling like crap but i'm pleased i did it. I just hope it will get better with time, just got to stick with it i guess...

Louise

2 replies
braveKitten4951 January 21st, 2016

@powerfulSugar8787

Yay for you! Going to a therapist is a big scary step. You should be very proud of yourself for doing this.

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professionalPerspective60 January 25th, 2016

@powerfulSugar8787

Hey Louise Luv!

Im so very proud of you for making this move, and thank you for coming back to let us know how you got on. The thing about therapy sessions is, it doesn't really matter what pace you travel, as long as your feeling comfortable with your therapist you will make a natural progression over time, it can often take quite a while for us to get everything out, and is doesn't matter what order things come out in, the main thing is your are talking, exploring your feelings and opening up, the therapist will peace it all together in time.

Every little step, is a step closer to the bigger picture, be proud of your succession so far hun, I know I am.

Take care

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