Anybody else with Selective Mutism?
Yeah, me.
I don't know about you, but posting what you did would have taken me a tremendous amount of..Bravery..? Self-persuasion..? Something.. to do.
Though, I take my diagnose with a grain of salt, considering I only went to two sessions, before I avoided the appointments like the plague. I suspect the psychologist had talked to several others that had been to my house to try and talk to me.. to reach that diagnose..
This took me over 10 minutes to write, edit, and post..
I spend most of my time being mute and only really talk around my friends, I kind of like to keep quiet and stay to myself because being mute for a lot of time is easier. But when I start talking I feel that I talk too much. But I don't really see anyone else who's mute because most people are more confident and don't get anxious in social situations.
@AnimeNerdRae I understand EXACTLY what you're talking about. I'd actually rather be in situations where I can't talk, because if I'm not, I still feel nervous so I overcompensate. How did you get freinds though? I can't seem to get anybody to talk to me, not that it was really ever in my control.
when I made friends I was a little more talkative although it took me quite awhile to be more open to them. But sometimes I'm still mute around them, and I'm mute to almost every other person.
@128walruses
@128walruses I've always only had 1 or 2 friends, as I got older I basically paid for friends I always had things they wanted, never had interrest in anything not even money, but even with friends you'll find yourself pushing them away because you want to isolate yourself again because in our minds we always know they're thinking whats wrong with him/ her
*raises hand* and avpd to boot
I'm not entirely sure if this would be classed as selective mutism, so I'm sorry if this isn't really relevant. When I'm with people I'm not entirely comfortable with, people I've just met for example, I find myself becoming VERY quiet. I am able to speak if someone asks me a direct question, but other than that, I don't speak at all. It's really getting me down at the moment, as it's making it more difficult to make friends.
@sunnyFan5020 I hear ya! My husband likes to take me to mutual friends' houses or a party and I am usually his shadow and I don't really talk to anyone unless I am asked a direct question and, even then, I am very succinct in my answers. I am VERY uncomfortable in social situations and it's even worse when there are people there that I don't know. Urgh.
Had never heard this term before. Just looked it up, I'd say it describes me to a T. I'm 23 now and still not comfortable talking much. I remember as a child not wanting to participate in class and getting very low grades because of it which... i still don't think is fair
Yea, there was a point in my life where I only talked to my family and no one else.
It started off in the seventh grade or so. I just stopped talking among others in class. I also didn't participate as much. My math teacher pointed me out to solve one problem she wrote on the board. I knew the answer, but I just shrugged instead since it didn't require talking. Outside of school, I'd have my mother do social things for me -- such as approaching a cashier to buy something or make an order at a restaurant.
It wasn't until I got into college did things change. It wasn't surprising for me that when my parents dropped me off the first day that I'd throw a tantrum. I cried so hard. I've made several phone calls to my mom on that day that I couldn't do it. She tried to console me; my dad tried to console me, and even my sister. It wasn't till the next day -- when the internet started working -- that I calmed down a bit.
The day things started taking a positive turn was when I read an ad about an anime club being held at my college. I don't remember when it was, but I think it was halfway through the semester. I knew the time and location the first club event would be held. I debated whether going or not, but I knew that if I didn't, I would just feel as miserable as I have been since the first day. So, I ended up going.
Of course, I was very anxious, especially when the club leader wanted all of us to introduce ourselves. The introduction was going in circles, so I knew my time to introduce myself was coming up. When it was my turn, I didn't have the courage to speak up for myself. Instead, the club leader asked the questions for me. "What's your name? What year are you? What's your favorite anime?" I hid my mouth with my hands, but I answered each question. It wasn't until a few months later, we hung out as friends outside club meetings. The friendship helped me open up slowly throughout my college years.
Another thing that helped in college was a required course: oral interpretation. That class required a lot of acting and standing up in front of the class. Near the beginning of the class, we had to act out lines. When it got to my turn, I had to read a line while laughing "Then she dropped the ball and had to chase it." Unlike the rest of the class, I hesitated a ton. I told my teacher in tears "I can't." Then it got strange. My classmates started being supportive. "You can do it!" The first time, I just read it, but the teacher wasn't happy about that. Over time, I was able to giggle while reading that line. When I finished, the whole class applauded. It let me know that people aren't as bad as judgmental as you think they are.
But yea, that's the gist. I still somewhat struggle with it, but I don't face massive anxiety. Well, I still feel tons of anxiety over job interviews because I have to talk a lot, and I do stutter. I've used a website called Twitch to chatter through my voice since I like to play video games, and I think it's helping me formulate sentences better.
The lesson from all of this? It seems like pushing yourself through it helps. The anxiety sucks, but so does feeling alone from shuttering yourself in your house. I'm amazed at some of the things I can do now. It's like "Wow, I really used to be mute at one point."
I've just realized after 31 years of searching and therapy that I selective mutism, this drives me crazy I constantly try to push suicide to the back of mind. I push everyone I know away have never had a complete conversation with my father he always wondered why I never talk to him or anyone else, it's like being trapped in a nightmare with no one to hear your screams. I don't know how much more I can take
I'm worried I might be developing it. I'm just not comfortable talking, even online it's become difficult. Posting anything online causes me lots of anxiety before and after, and I usually end up regretting and deleting it. I've 1-2 friends who I speak to sometimes, but otherwise the only people I talk to are health professionals or my family. Id like to talk but I feel so anxious I'd just rather be quiet. it's very lonely.
Idk if this is a similar thing but I've never seen anyone talk about it so hope it's okay I post this. Sorry if not.