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Any advice on how to start talking to people again?

MidnightMaze July 14th, 2020

Hi all. I was wondering if anyone has good ideas / strategies for how to start talking to (and visiting with) people again?

I am going through probably my most serious expereince with anxiety, and have only been talking occasionally to my closest family members. I can go days without talking to anyone, except for when I have to. I haven't talked to my friends for a long time, except for an occassional text message.

I am really uncertain / afraid on how I start talking to (and visiting with) people again after so long (weeks +), and while still dealing through my personal challenges and feeling unsure.

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VickyP July 21st, 2020

@MidnightMaze

Hello! I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling so anxious lately, that it has pulled you away from your friends and people. It can definitely be stressful to start talking again more, meeting and contacting everyone, so taking it one step at a time can help!

Maybe you could start with a phone call to one with your friends, instead of the occasional text message, just to catch up on how they are doing. Or you could talk to hem a bit more often in text messages before trying to call them. Slow, steady steps that you feel comfortable with can make ease us back into socializing a bit more, and then planning to meet people.

What would your first small step to socializing more with them be?

selfconfidentMelon5824 July 21st, 2020

@MidnightMaze .Sounds like you've been through a lot. Start slowly and don't pressure yourself is my best advice. Maybe text more often. And try short phone calls. It can be hard you forget how, can relate to that from issuing from the virus. But you can do just go slow and at your own pace

MidnightMaze OP July 30th, 2020

Hi all. Thanks for your comments. Starting slow with people I am most comfortable with sounds like the way to go.

The first step is always the hardest. I think the big thing is I can't help but feel I have been letting my closest friends down by not talking to them, and being there for them as well.

Usually I am the person that is always doing the "right" thing and being there for others, so it is hard to take action when I feel like I have screwed up so badly with them.

But will try to start really simple and not to over complicated by texting again and go from there. Thanks again for the advice and support!

silverHeart49 August 4th, 2020

@MidnightMaze

Everything you say makes total sense, social anxiety is hard, but the way you feel is valid. LAways remeber that its a bad day, week or month but not a bad life. Things get better I promise!

So the first thing I would suggest is have loads of coping skills ready for when you do get anxious. If you need some ideas let me know and I can reply with them. Secondly, find people who you are confortable talking to first and then build up talking to new or less accepting people.

I know it's hard but you have to get yourself out there. Avoiding people and conversations reinforces the anxiety, I learnt that from experience. Well done for seeking out help, as i said let me know if you want some coping skills ideas. Good luck and you will beat the anxiety! :)

1 reply
FrozenGhost August 11th, 2020

Hello silverHeart49

I'd really love some coping skills, None of the self help strategies I've tried actually help me to do social things I fear. And I know doing them is the only way to overcome soical anxiety. I've tried and tried but never once been able to do things I fear. If you have any ideas to share at all, please share them. Please!!!

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WhiteButterfflee August 4th, 2020

@MidnightMaze

Well, to start with you already have advantages over me since you talk to ypur family (I never do) and you did not talk to anyone else in weeks...I did not talk to people in 9 years...do you look in their their eyes or do you keep your eyes down? A walk and talk will help probably...

1 reply
sympatheticKitten8138 August 5th, 2020

@WhiteButterfflee wow, I would love to hear about your experience. Were you a freelancer? What about your co-workers?

I'm trying to come out of depression + corona isolation and would like to hear how you manage your situation.

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