Advice on learning social skills
Hi. This may be a little long, i am looking for advice...I have been struggling with social anxiety for at least 5 years. I went through high school(and actually most of my life) as an extremely quiet person and at some point the shyness turned into social anxiety. In high school i had a core group of about 3 friends i had known since early elementry school and i never really learned how to talk comfortablely with new people. Now i am in 2nd year university and am overwhelmed with all the new people and am struggling with making new friends.
I go to a couple of groups and the people are friendly but i am so awkward to talk to because i am not good at carrying a natural conversation or letting my guard down. I realized tonight just how visible my discomfort can be, as a couple people causally asked about my home life(which by the way is great, i have a fantastically supportive family who are the only people i can relax and be myself around).
I hardly even let my guard down for my 3 good high school friends, it takes me so long to trust someone enough to let them see me relaxed and for me to comfortably share my opinions. When i talk to new people my thoughts come out jumbled because i am so nervous. I am so scared of judgement and have such underdeveloped social skills. I dont know what to do. I know it will take practice but how do i start?
@C321 I know this must be really tough for you to deal with, and I'm glad you reached out to 7Cups for help. It's really brave of you that you shared your experiences so honestly.
It takes some time and hard work, but social anxiety can definitely be reduced if you receive the right help. I think you might find this awesome guide useful in terms of understanding the mechanisms of social anxiety. It also offers a lot of tips on how to cope with it. https://www.7cups.com/social-anxiety/
You can also try and browse for listeners who have social anxiety listed as one of their areas of interest. I hope you can find a good match who can understand and help you explore this topic with you.
You're not alone struggling with social anxiety, and the good news is that there are effective ways to fight it! :) I wish you the best with that! <3
@ProSupport. Thank you.
@C321 You're welcome! 
I hope this helps.
@C321
Hi, I think I am on the same boat as you... I am like that too, as you described. Going to university and is having a hard time making friends... I am very awkward also, I think I can understand your feelings... It's scary and it's hard to know what you can do...
What I've found out is that being in a place that I can be myself and feel comfortable in can make me feel comfortable enough to talk to people being myself... It's not school for me, it's a job that I have... I think this could be being at home, or somewhere with your family or your 3 friends that you feel comfortable with..
.I also found that getting a job that forces me to talk to people helpful... like a cashier. Even if I don't do it well, by getting that job, the first step is cleared, which is the talking to someone. And I think this is a different kind of social interaction because you only say things that's not you, but I think it still helps... at least for me it did, some people even throw small talk at you and you kind of get an opportunity to kind of be yourself too... and even if you mess up, the period of talking is very short and it'll pass really quickly, and you might not ever meet them again. and then get another chance again and again... and sometimes it's hard to kind of continue for a long time but I think my experience was a nice one...
I hope that kind of helps!
@helpfulSugar9
Thank you very much for taking the time to read my long post and for the advice. Some of it is difficult to follow right now as i am most comfortable with my family and 3 high school friends and i am living 6 hours away from them right now and i dont really have time to get a job while at school if i want to maintain my grades. That being said i will definately try it when at home and hopefully use it to build my social skills and confidence.
@helpfulSugar9
Also all the best to you in your time at university. I hope you have met/will soon meet some good friends who accept your awkwardness and the rest of who you are
@C321
no problem! I'm glad I saw your post! I enjoyed sharing my experience. And I can understand your situation!! You're away from your friends and family, which means you can't do the first one, and the job thing!!! I didn't do that either last quarter and that's why I got good grades:( it's very very hard to work and get good grades at the same time!!! It's scary to feel like you're running out of time. And thank you for your kind words too! Yes, I really hope someone that accepts the quirky and awkward way I am pops up in the new university that I transferred too. I hope the same for you! :D
