teacher attachment
i've fallen in love with a teacher. but not like that. i love him as in i feel safe with him, i feel okay and i feel like i have a parent watching over me when he's here.
i'm aware of how wrong it sounds. it looks even worse to people because i'm a female student attached to a male teacher. people think i have a crush on him, but i really don't. he's my friend. i just feel okay with him. i feel happy.
i'm scared when school ends in a few weeks and i won't have him anymore. i won't see him. to him, i'm just another student burdening him and wasting his time, but to me, he means so much. he'll probably forget me. but i'm just scared of not having him to talk to.
but i know he's just my teacher. he's not my parent and i know he can't be anything more than that.
@Nitrohawk
None of this sounds wrong ❤
It is good to know you feel safe and supported by your teacher , feeling attached is natural
It can be upsetting not getting to see them often as before but maybe you can stay in touch through meeting outside or messages if they are okay with it too ?
@Nitrohawk Hi ! I realize that you posted this some time ago, but yeah... I am that teacher, so to speak. Messaging a lot with a student 40 years younger than me... it is a kind of love affair, but as you say, 'not like that'. No secret meetings or any of that stuff. We do love each other, but not in a physical way. It is really quite confusing: I love this person as if they were my son or daughter, and yet it is more intimate than that, intellectually speaking.
And I am quite terrified of other people finding out. Their best friend knows... but she would never betray us because she as well has a special relation with me, though less intense. But what about my colleagues? School director? The parents? These people will just not understand, I am afraid.
And if they don't, is it because they are dumb or because I am closing my eyes to the real nature of this situation? One thing is certain: I want this person to flourish, and to develop healthy relationships with other people (which has been challenging).
As in your case, I'm also scared of what will happen when this person will leave school, coming summer. Would we be able to continue our friendship / relationship ? Should we?
It's clear that he made a positive impact on your life, and that's something to cherish!
I guess it's okay to acknowledge your feelings there's nothing wrong in that, It doesn't mean you're crossing any boundaries or expecting anything more from him, it just means you appreciate his presence in your life.
It's possible that he values your relationship more than you think, even if it's just as a teacher/ student one..
@Nitrohawk
I understand that. Feeling of the thought of losing someone you deeply care for could be really frustrating and overwhelming . Your feelings are completely valid.
@Nitrohawk It doesn’t sound wrong. It sounds like you admire your teacher and appreciate the safety he provides during your time together. Teachers are people who are caring and passionate about what they do and perhaps he would find it a compliment that he has helped you feel this way at school.
@Nitrohawk It makes sense that you feel this way, and there’s nothing wrong with it. It sounds like this teacher has provided a sense of safety and stability that you really value, and it’s natural to form a deep attachment to someone who makes you feel seen and cared for. It’s not about a crush—it’s about feeling emotionally safe, which is something we all need. The fear of losing that connection when school ends is completely valid, but it doesn’t mean the impact he’s had on you will disappear. You can carry the lessons, kindness, and support he’s given you forward, even when he’s no longer physically present in your life. If you’re comfortable, you might write a letter or a message to express gratitude for how he’s helped you—without expecting anything in return, just to acknowledge what he’s meant to you. And as you move forward, know that there will be other people who will make you feel safe and understood, even if it doesn’t seem like it right now. This connection was important, and it mattered, but you will continue to find support and care in new places. 💙
@Nitrohawk It sounds like this teacher has been a really positive and supportive presence in your life, and I can understand why the thought of losing that connection feels so scary. Feeling protected and cared for is essential, and it's perfectly OK to appreciate the comfort and advice he's provided. It doesn't make your feelings improper or inappropriate; it simply shows how much you appreciate his support.
