learning to deal with it.

when my best friend told me she is getting married, i didn't know how to react. i was surprised, because i didn't know she was so serious, and i was happy, but i also thought about how our relationship will change. as the day passed, my feelings settled and i understood how truly happy i felt for her. but since my relationship with her had been quite strained for a long time, i started wondering what lies in store for me, for us. will her new friends overshadow me at the wedding? will she involve me as much as i expect or am i just expecting too much? how much does she expect from me? i got stuck in this spiral and realised that i have to break from it. i worked on it, i worked for a long time and I continue to even today, but i have come a long way from those thoughts and all that anxiety. i started to work on it months ago so when finally her wedding day arrived, i couldn't have been happier, focusing on her big day, rather than feelings which i assume in my head. her wedding turned out to be perfect, not only free from all the irrational fears i faced, but also as per her wishes!! i was completely socially burned out (and took time to recover from all that anxiety for a few days!) but was it worth it! i am especially happy that i was there for her, and i was able to be of help to her alongwith being able to handle my thoughts too! a year back, i was very scared of this, but i am extremely happy that i have made some progress. I still have all that anxiety in my head, but now I know that I am capable of living with it by learning how to deal with it.