i need help
so i’ve been struggling with trauma for a while about things regarding relationships and friendships. i’m still unsure on how i cope with it but my personality has rlly transformed and i’ve became more defensive. my mindset tells me i’m not going to find anyone to connect with, i’m not going to find a life long friend, i’m not going to find another romantic partner, etc. i don’t feel like i’m capable of being loved or capable of loving anymore. i suck with affection but my love language is physical touch. i just want to improve everything about that and get over it i always feel i’m missing on good opportunities. when i feel like i rlly like someone or can develop a good friendship with them i run away as a defense mechanism. i don’t know how to fix it i don’t know how to move on. i just need someone to tell me what steps to take because it’s been a year and it’s been affecting my friendships significantly more now than ever. please.
You have so many  opportunities to take and Someone out there does love you. Find people that are supportive and build strong relationships. It’s best to find people at your job or through other friends since online can be dangerous and people may not always respond to messages. You could also make friends at an event like a  convention so you will have someone to talk to with common interest. If you want to meet new people, go to events you want to and talk to people there or at your job. I hope I gave a good recommendation.
Take it one day at a time. Write about your feelings, about everything and anything on your mind until you can get to the bottom of your problem.Celebrate small steps.. become your own person, your own best friend first.. and things will fall into place.