@anaaordazz
It makes me really sad to know that you are going through so much, You are an amazing person who has every right to be happy and not suffer like this. You have all rights to enjoy life as much as others are doing. If you want, you are always free to messege me anytime. I wish you all the peace and a great day tomorrow.
You can try something from this list of hobbies and see if they make you feel better. I am sure there are others that can be added :-
Meditating or praying
Making plans for the future
Finishing something
Talking with a friend
Watching TV
Sitting/lying in the sun
Listening to others
Drawing
Playing an instrument
Looking outside
Watching people
Watching a movie
Meeting a friend
Repairing something
Wearing nice clothes
Taking care of plants
Going to a party
Thinking about buying things
Thinking Im a good person
Writing a letter
Cooking
Sleeping
Fixing your hair and makeup
Day dreaming
Making a list of tasks/goals
Watching sports
Thinking about pleasant events
Writing in a diary
Reading a letter
Discussing books
Having lunch with a friend
Solving riddles/puzzles
Looking at/showing photos
Reflecting on how Ive improved
Taking a warm bath
Paying bills
Playing a game
Remembering good times
Reading a book
Laughing out loud
Painting
Singing
Remembering beautiful scenery
Watching the birds
Gardening
Doodling
Exercising
Having a quiet evening
Arranging flowers
Drinking a favorite beverage
Going on a picnic
A day with nothing to do
Buying clothes
Going to the beauty parlor
Making a gift for someone
Having your picture taken
Listening to music
Taking a walk
Playing sports
Acting
Dancing
Cleaning
Having a political discussion
Shooting pool
Learning to play a new game
Talking on the phone
Helping a friend cope
Thinking Im a person who can cope