Though days

Hi, I've had a couple of awful days, I'm extremely overwhelmed and one step away from stop functioning.

I've always needed like a lot of things to allign to feel calm and achieving the things I gotta do, and these days nothing is alligning in a favorable way.

I'm a full time graphic designer, I'm always behind schedule and have lots and lots of work to do. I'm also studying a course to get my degree (which I put aside many years because of my anxiety and depression problems, and the because my dad passed away) and the amount of workload it's overwhelming. My third "job" is administrating my mom's airbnb, this last thing is not a lot of work but also demands my attention, and in addition this 3 things are a lot for me to handle.

On top of this I'm at risk of loosing my house, I'm from Mexico, and here is super common that properties don't have papers in order, my great grandfather divided the property for his kids, but never made the official division, so one of my grandfather's brothers took advantage and claimed the whole property as his, all of them are dead now, but this man's daughter is now suing me, claiming I'm living here illegally and trying to kick me out of my house, this house has inhabited by grandparents, my mom, and her brothers since 1968, my aunt moved out a couple of years ago because she needs 24/7 care and is now in an assisted living facility. My mom has always been responsible for the house, since her father passed, and she let me come here when my boyfriend and I decided to move in together in 2020. Now we are both being sued by this woman, she's also denying our family ties, and claiming I'm some random person "that invaded her property".

We are already acting, my mom's lawyers are taking on the case, but I'm extremely anxious because of this situation (on top of my obligations). I feel unsafe on my house (mysteriously the tire of our car was flat the other day, and one of the mirrors with a piece missing). I feel I can't be safe and relaxed in my own house, I'm super paranoid, I feel attacked, and a victim of a negligence and a big injustice. I'm super scared of loosing the house as I don't have the money to rent or buy my own place, my bf has been out of a job for a long time, and I feel the weight of everything in my shoulders.

My mom tells me I'm strong enough to deal with this, and that everyone else in the family isn't, so I'm like "the chosen one" to fix this, I know she has a good intention by telling me that, but for me is like I have big expectactions to fill and I just want to go hide under the bed.

Yesterday I almost cried of stress in front of one of my teachers, and today I loose all morning because I couldn't pull myself togheter and cried in the phone with my mom for hours.

I feel I'm about to explode :(