TW: Anxiety about hearing the news, politics, COVID, differences of opinions

***This post has a trigger warning for discussion of news, politics, COVID, and differences of opinions, as all of these things trigger my own anxiety. However, this post is not meant to start any discussions about politics but rather how to cope with the anxiety surrounding it all.***

I have never been one to get all worked up about politics, but now I can't handle hearing anything news-related, especially related to politics and COVID.

Most of my family identifies as Democrat, my immediate family especially. I grew up this way, and I still lean toward that political party. My boyfriend and his family are Republican and conservative. We have discussed this many times and we have similar personalities in that we try to understand the other side. But it has been increasingly difficult for me and for my anxiety.

COVID has added a new layer of separation. I feel the distance between the two political sides is growing, which puts an incredible strain on my relationships. Six feet and social distancing have all new meanings. I feel like I can't talk about anything COVID or news related with anyone anymore and I feel increasingly distant in my relationships. My parents are older and they are very concerned about the health risks involved with contracting COVID. My boyfriend does not want to get vaccinated. He also does not want to wear masks because he doesn't want to feel controled.

It is extremely difficult for me to accept that. I'm currently living with my parents and when I first moved in last month they asked me all these questions about why my boyfriend won't get vaccinated and why he believes what he believes. It felt like an interrogation lecture and it made me extremely anxious. I explained that to them afterward and told them that it was never my responsibility to explain anything like that to them. My dad asked if it was okay if he talked to my boyfriend about it and I said it was, but only because I thought it would be wrong of me to try and stop him.

My parents wrote him a letter, which I read when my boyfriend sent it to me. They had made it sound like it was my boyfriend who was causing me anxiety, when really it's all of them and how they are all so stubborn and set it their beliefs. I've told them all that I don't want to talk about politics or COVID or anything news-related because it is too stressful for me, but that doesn't mean things don't come up.

I start thinking about everything sometimes, about why no one seems to be willing to embrace the other side and what that means for me and my relationships. I love my boyfriend and my family and friends, but I feel like I can't even talk to anyone about it because they are all so one-sided. I feel disrespected, misunderstood, and unimportant. I feel bad about being out of the loop on some things, but it all just gives me so much anxiety. I try so hard to remain calm and use coping techniques for anxiety episodes, but sometimes it feels like it is hopeless to keep trying to maintain these relationships. I really wish that things were easier. Sometimes I wish I could take a vacation from all of society.