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Smily1225
548 M Embraced 4
PathStep 14 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts58 Forum upvotes57 Current upvotes57 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2024 Member sinceMay 30, 2021
Bio
I like learning languages, listening to music, and watching movies and TV shows.
I am struggling with trauma and anxiety. Sometimes I feel lost and alone.
Sometimes I feel like I can't trust anyone, not even myself.
I enjoy reading what other people have posted to the forums. It makes me feel like there are people out there who will listen.
Recent forum posts
Family anxiety
Anxiety Support / by Smily1225
Last post
 April 2nd, 2022
...See more My bf and his family have different views when it comes to politics and religion than my family does. I've had conversations about it with my parents and we are currently at a good place about it. My younger sister moved to a different state last year and has not been back to visit. I'm currently living with my parents and they really want her to come. She would stay here at the house. My sister is even more opposite of how my bf's family is. Everything is black and white for her. Last year was the last time I really talked to her. She FaceTimed me at work and I told her that I was having a hard time living with my bf's family because of their differences. She told me that she would never be able to accept them because of their differences. She has picked fights with others before, people in our family, during holidays, about things she didn't agree with. I didn't tell her that my bf also had some of those same beliefs, but hearing her say that she would never be able to accept them was hard for me. I left work practically in tears that day but I never told her how much what she said hurt. I have a lot of anxiety about her because I'm always afraid she's going to say something rude or inconsiderate to me, which she has done before, or that she'll bring something up that's a sensitive topic for me. I'd rather not have the negativity. My mom doesn't see how anxious it makes me that she is coming and she really wants me to be here when she comes. It'll only be for a few days so I'm going to have to suck it up, but my parents don't know what she said to me or how she's treated me over the years. My mom thinks it's some superficial thing, like just a little sibling conflict, but it's a real issue for me, and it goes pretty deep.
Uneasy stomach
Anxiety Support / by Smily1225
Last post
 January 31st, 2022
...See more I feel anxiety in my stomach. It starts churning and I feel like I can't eat because of it. And it hurts. I try breathing and I try to make myself calmer but it takes a while for my stomach to feel better. Where do you all feel anxiety?
TW: Anxiety about hearing the news, politics, COVID, differences of opinions
Anxiety Support / by Smily1225
Last post
 August 28th, 2021
...See more ***This post has a trigger warning for discussion of news, politics, COVID, and differences of opinions, as all of these things trigger my own anxiety. However, this post is not meant to start any discussions about politics but rather how to cope with the anxiety surrounding it all.*** I have never been one to get all worked up about politics, but now I can't handle hearing anything news-related, especially related to politics and COVID. Most of my family identifies as Democrat, my immediate family especially. I grew up this way, and I still lean toward that political party. My boyfriend and his family are Republican and conservative. We have discussed this many times and we have similar personalities in that we try to understand the other side. But it has been increasingly difficult for me and for my anxiety. COVID has added a new layer of separation. I feel the distance between the two political sides is growing, which puts an incredible strain on my relationships. Six feet and social distancing have all new meanings. I feel like I can't talk about anything COVID or news related with anyone anymore and I feel increasingly distant in my relationships. My parents are older and they are very concerned about the health risks involved with contracting COVID. My boyfriend does not want to get vaccinated. He also does not want to wear masks because he doesn't want to feel controled. It is extremely difficult for me to accept that. I'm currently living with my parents and when I first moved in last month they asked me all these questions about why my boyfriend won't get vaccinated and why he believes what he believes. It felt like an interrogation lecture and it made me extremely anxious. I explained that to them afterward and told them that it was never my responsibility to explain anything like that to them. My dad asked if it was okay if he talked to my boyfriend about it and I said it was, but only because I thought it would be wrong of me to try and stop him. My parents wrote him a letter, which I read when my boyfriend sent it to me. They had made it sound like it was my boyfriend who was causing me anxiety, when really it's all of them and how they are all so stubborn and set it their beliefs. I've told them all that I don't want to talk about politics or COVID or anything news-related because it is too stressful for me, but that doesn't mean things don't come up. I start thinking about everything sometimes, about why no one seems to be willing to embrace the other side and what that means for me and my relationships. I love my boyfriend and my family and friends, but I feel like I can't even talk to anyone about it because they are all so one-sided. I feel disrespected, misunderstood, and unimportant. I feel bad about being out of the loop on some things, but it all just gives me so much anxiety. I try so hard to remain calm and use coping techniques for anxiety episodes, but sometimes it feels like it is hopeless to keep trying to maintain these relationships. I really wish that things were easier. Sometimes I wish I could take a vacation from all of society.
Not feeling too well today
Anxiety Support / by Smily1225
Last post
 August 19th, 2021
...See more Today I was on Instagram scrolling through posts and I saw one that was from a channel that helps teach Japanese. I had been following the channel. I watched the latest video and the caption was something like "Comment if you know more particles!" It's part of Japanese grammar, and I commented with three other particles and their meanings, however the OP misinterpreted one of my comments and immediately sent me a message telling me to be more kind and that I could just unfollow. I explained to her that I had only done what it said in the caption. I think she did not understand my English from the way I stated the meaning of one of the particles, or she felt intimiated because I was trying to be helpful. She said she did not appreciate my tone. She deleted my comments from the post and blocked me. I thought this was totally uncalled for and rude. I even tried to post an apology comment and I sent her an apology message but my comment was blocked and she did not read my message. I am a naturally caring, compasionate and inquisitive person. I never try to be mean to people and I am never intentionally rude to people. It makes me really upset when people misinterpret my actions and it makes it even worse when they refuse to talk to me about it or listen to what I have to say. I felt very unwelcomed, unimportant and unheard today by this lady. I know it shouldn't matter because she is a stranger to me, but it's really been bothering me today. I wanted to leave this here to get it out of me because I don't like the amount of distress it has caused me. If you have read up until now, thank you for caring!! I hope you are having better experiences today than that!
Language learner
Around the World / by Smily1225
Last post
 January 25th, 2022
...See more Hello! One of my hobbies is language learning. I'm happy that there is a community dedicated to languages. It's a small percentage of us who are really into it but it's nice to have a place to connect with others also interested in languages 😁. I am a native English speaker and I also speak Spanish, some French and some Portuguese. My most recent endeavors are Japanese and Korean.
My not-so-private diary
Trauma Support / by Smily1225
Last post
 September 9th, 2021
...See more Well. Here is goes.
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