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Social anxiety with significant other's friends.

MoonOrchid October 17th, 2017

I currently live in the same building as my SO's friends. This move was not ideal and we've been having tons of problems. I worry that they think I'm just a complainer. I don't know them very well and I don't think they like me. I swear I didn't do anything to piss anyone off, but I'm worried that maybe I did.
I can hear them when they are hanging out upstairs and I get a pit in my stomach. I worry that SO is having more fun wih them than with me. I worry that they are talking about me. I'm worried that SO is living some kind of second life or something. I think I'm just jealous or something. I can't go up with him because their dog doesn't like me and I get too nervous.
One of his friends is rather rude with me the few times we've talked but I keep thinking that maybe it's my fault or that maybe he's not trying to be rude and I'm misreading the situation. I have no idea why he doesn't like me. It's not even like I'm "taking away the drinking buddy" because I was living with him longer than he knew them. I'm too scared to talk to anyone and I'm terrified that I already ruined everything.
I have no idea how to approach anyone about it because I'm so sared that they all hate me. Considering getting SO to coverly ask if they like me or not without sounding weird about it. Does anyone else have anxiety problems with their partner' friends?

1
CoinFountain October 17th, 2017

@MoonOrchid

With the dog situation maybe you could try asking them if you could give the dog some treats (which are approve by them) so the dog will perhaps warm up to you more? This in turn could help you be at ease with the dog if it works to get them to not bark or growl.

I get anxious about my own family not wanting me around anymore when I've been away for too long. To help determine if there's more you could be doing to help build a rapport with your SO's friends there's a good book called How to Win Friends and Influence People. Good read even if you aren't interested in influencing people. It teaches stuff like how to show genuine interest in others so that they'll be more likely to take notice that you seem more open and receptive toward them. :) I read it years ago but still forget what I read sometimes.