Pinpointing when my anxiety started

Hi all,

over the last month I've questioned my anxiety and sought self help websites (one of those is 7 cups)

when first asked how long I've had anxiety I stated it had been many many years... These last few days I've really been thinking back and I've realised that although it's perhaps always been there I've only really been suffering for a few years...

the problem I'm having now is trying to figure out exactly what caused it... All I know is it's getting worse day by day...

5 years ago me and my family were living by the sea in a small town, (me and my girls) and my dad and family literally doors away)

i made the mistake of thinking I needed out of there, so after serious thought and a lot of conversations with my eldest child (10 at the time) me and the girls moved to London to be with my eldest daughters dad.... Things didn't go well and I ended up moving cities again to stay with my auntie, I started work (apart from the usual nerves it was nothing like my anxiety today)

however within a year that went sour and I love back to my home city, started a relationship with my family again and settled....

I began dating, some good some not so good... And then eventually this year me and an ex rekindled our love and things were great... We found out I'm pregnant...

So as you can see nothing really led to the anxiety but I've realised it started from when I came home.... And has been getting worse since then..

Now im in a relationship where my anxiety of loosing him is literally pushing him away! I accuse him constantly, beg for his reassurance and want to be with him as much as I can.. I love him so much, but also know that my biggest problem is not wanting to be alone! This will be my fourth child and although I haven't slept around they do all have different dad's (I was in relationships with each of them)

sorry this thread is long and maybe seems like I'm rambling... It's only a peek into how my mind works on a daily basis...

To to overcome this do I need to know exactly when this started? Or should I just let it go?

I know I need help but before I seek professional help I need to be ready!

In the past therapists have always gone back to the horrid things I endured in childhood, and although granted they haven't helped my self confidence I know that they are not the cause of my anxiety now.. So of rather be strong enough to speak out and say I don't wish to discuss certain things..

Ok ok now I am rambling! Sorry...

If by any chance anyone reads this, can I just say thank you and again I apologise..