Opening Up About Anxiety

Sometimes I feel like opening up about my condition. Sometimes I feel rather closed hearted about it. I have been suffering from anxiety that has been disabling since I was a young child. I would entirely stop moving and thinking clearly when anyone was near by. I was severely afraid of everyone, even my family members themselves. This had first lead to very poor grades and impacted on my ability to remember and understand information. As I grew I became very observant of my surroundings and picked up easily on things. With this my grades steadily raised. Although if this was the end of my story, it wouldn't have complicated things so much further. 7 years ago I began experiecing my first episode of active psychosis. Requiring me to leave everything behind that I was studying and stopped advancing in my life. It held me back a lot from succeeding. I had been hospitalized, I had gotten some medication, talked to a therapist, althoguh I was terrified of my therapist so I vaguely remember them. I always kept forgetting who they were every time I'd be in their office I was very confused and lost. Schizophrenia it was. I never really understood much about it even though I was very keen on studying the human brain at the time. When this break with reality happened it opened my eyes to the deep and persistant horrors that sometimes plague me entirely. I could not begin to imagine what living in fear of my life was, until the moment psychosis hit me. It's a scary place to be in and sometimes you may feel like you can't escape from it. But through my poems and paintings I intend on showing all of my experiences with my anxieties and psychosis. Thank you for reading it means a lot to me that you'd take the time to do so. Thank you.