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ShadowDance
32,842 M Determined Treads 4
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts590 Forum posts109 Forum upvotes148 Current upvotes148 Age GroupAdult Last activeJune, 2021 Member sinceNovember 27, 2019
Bio
*Trying to write a new profile if anyone can offer the best suggestions to make a profile that would help you understand in the best way possible let me know*

"Unusual places lead to unusual meetings. An unknown friend in a scary place." My inner voice. (2019) Hello everyone. I'm someone who has never really existed anywhere but within a small place. Although the physical version of me took their place, far beyond that I've been out of reach. A hollow buzzing and signals run this universe. Left without the real heart. Who am I, when I no longer hear myself clearly? I am empty...
Recent forum posts
Opening Up About Anxiety
Anxiety Support / by ShadowDance
Last post
 December 3rd, 2019
...See more Sometimes I feel like opening up about my condition. Sometimes I feel rather closed hearted about it. I have been suffering from anxiety that has been disabling since I was a young child. I would entirely stop moving and thinking clearly when anyone was near by. I was severely afraid of everyone, even my family members themselves. This had first lead to very poor grades and impacted on my ability to remember and understand information. As I grew I became very observant of my surroundings and picked up easily on things. With this my grades steadily raised. Although if this was the end of my story, it wouldn't have complicated things so much further. 7 years ago I began experiecing my first episode of active psychosis. Requiring me to leave everything behind that I was studying and stopped advancing in my life. It held me back a lot from succeeding. I had been hospitalized, I had gotten some medication, talked to a therapist, althoguh I was terrified of my therapist so I vaguely remember them. I always kept forgetting who they were every time I'd be in their office I was very confused and lost. Schizophrenia it was. I never really understood much about it even though I was very keen on studying the human brain at the time. When this break with reality happened it opened my eyes to the deep and persistant horrors that sometimes plague me entirely. I could not begin to imagine what living in fear of my life was, until the moment psychosis hit me. It's a scary place to be in and sometimes you may feel like you can't escape from it. But through my poems and paintings I intend on showing all of my experiences with my anxieties and psychosis. Thank you for reading it means a lot to me that you'd take the time to do so. Thank you.
Dance with Me: My Diary and Connections
Journals & Diaries / by ShadowDance
Last post
 March 19th, 2020
...See more Hello. I am new to this community. Writing this way is a good idea, I'm interested in trying to keep a diary like this. I want to start this. So Every time I feel motivated to write something. Maybe a poem. Maybe a short paragraph. I can't force myself to write more than possible at the time. Sometimes I just can't do it. Sometimes my head can't handle it. I turned 24 this year and my thoughts on that. I'm 24 and it's been 7 years since my first psychotic episode. It's a major life changing event. Everything changes after that. People become scared of you. Remembering things you've done misunderstanding your actions as well. Fearing you'll always be like that or that you're dangerous person because this happened. Yes something like schizophrenia doesn't go away but some thing like stress can often make it worse. But don't expect to see me acting stressed every day. Sometimes it's more of an internal struggle. Other times it can be visable to other people. But it doesn't mean I'm a bad person or that I'm dangerous to you. I'm very anxious about talking to you and with people around as well as external lights and sound it can become overwhelming incredibly fast. When telling people about your conditions makes you look like a criminal... We're both weary and cautious of each other. Strange how similar we are, aren't we? I'm not all of a sudden less than human because of it. I'm still just like you and all those other people. I have feelings and thoughts and you can hurt me just as easily as I can hurt you inside by doing these little things to go out of your way to avoid me. It hurts. Stop causing suffering by misjudging people. Sorry this went on way longer than I thought it would. But I left you with some of my thoughts. If you've read them, thank you so much when you really didn't have to do this. For all of those I meet along the way, thank you for your listening time. It means a lot to me to have support as well as support you when I can. If we're all compassionate the world is such an easier place to live in. Thank you for your time.
My Introduction
Newbie Hub / by ShadowDance
Last post
 November 27th, 2019
...See more Hello. I'm 24 years old. A young adult woman who is still trying to get through challenges in life. As we're all on a different road, walking parallel to each other. It's been 7 years since I had my first psychotic episode. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I grew up with a severe social anxiety. I'm not a dangerous person so you don't have to be cautious when around me. When people act this way it makes me feel worse about my situation. I feel trapped and overwhelmed. I hope that this website can provide me with a safe and comfortable place to make some friends that are more accepting of my condition than the general public. I'm not here for any of the wrong reasons I do not wish to get any advice. I am not in danger to myself or other people. I'm not actively harming myself. So please allow me to stay here with everyone else. Don't hold it against me. Thank you and I hope that I can meet some of you and share our stories together. If you've made it this far thank you for reading. I don't expect people to take the time out of their day to do this. So it means a lot ot me that you are listening to me. Thank you kind readers and I'll hopefully see some of you later.
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