Olfactory Reference Syndrome - Ever heard of it?
Hi, all.
Part 1
My story begins in, well, as young as I can remember; I've always had anxiety. However, starting in ninth grade, after a small surgery, I began to smell odd things. I don't mean that I would go around sniffing things. I mean hallucinations...
For the first week or two, it was total confusion. I had no idea what was going on, and I figured that something must have gotten on my backpack. I didn't have enough insight at the time to realize that the smell was 24/7, and my backpack was only near me 6 hours a day. It was halfway through the second week that I started to think, "Maybe this is me. Maybe *I* smell." Everything went downhill from there.
My average anxiety level started near a 5 out of 10, but by the time a month had past, I developed full-fledged paranoia. I went to 13 different doctors, each one telling me the same thing: "You don't smell, and nothing is wrong with your -insert body part here-"
I had to go to school. Even on the worst days. I had to go, and it was torture. I could hear people whispering about my odor, but no one ever told me directly. Because, of course, it was a conspiracy (or so I thought).
If you want to hear more, let me know...
Thanks for making it this far
@TCo So your just a little OCD about smells? No reason to get so upset. I smell everything! I'm a weirdo .. I'll smell the car parts before I buy them. I'll smell the bag of tortillas. I'll smell my husband's dirty work clothes and the detergent before putting them in the washer. You don't have to get so angry at yourself for being a little different.
@TCo I couldnt imagine smelling things that aren't there, but I can understand how perceptions of others affect anxiety. Sometimes in a large group of people, I feel like if I speak or make a wrong move EVERYONE will know, and it terrifies me. I also understand being angry about it. I tend to be angry with myself because I feel like I should know better than to let my perception of others being critical of me (which is not the case) affect real life and actual events that are happening. Its like having to dig through the imaginary to get to the real every minute of every day.
@Duckswithmoose I would love to hear more