My fear of speaking in social situations... and how I made some progress in overcoming it.
Hello there. Well, I am very afraid of public speaking as many of people do. But I am not only afraid of making presentations and even just answering on questions during the lectures. Very often I feel like I just can't produce any sound. For example, in my country if you need to get off the bus, you have to loudly ask for the stop, so that a driver (and, apparently, all the people inside) can hear you. And it has been very hard for me to do for the whole my life. Just thinking about me, standing up from my place and moving to the exit. Thinking about me, shouting "Next bus stop, please!" (since I speak very quiet, I usually need to repeat). So many times I'd missed my stop and just got off somewhere where somebody else needed to got off. And that's just one situation... There are more.
Also I can't, hmm, speak and explain my thoughts if I finally asked for help, for example, from the teacher or shop assistant at the mall. It just I suddenly forgot all the words and sentence structure and end up irritating another person and just.. going away from him/her. Why? I don't know...
And I also just can't make any photos outside. It makes me so much trouble especially when I was in Paris, but I have no photo-proof of me, being there.....
But now I am on my Growth Path that helps me to become more socially confident. Yesterday at the opening of the new mall on my street, one famous public person, that I saw on the TV and were very interested about, came to this event and gave some master-class. During it, she gave autographs and made photos with people. I really wanted an autograph and a photo, too.. But I was so aware of doing this. But you know what? I did that!! Yeah, it took me to wait for the ending of the master-class but I did it! I even managed to ask a stranger to make a photo of me and that public person. How cool is that? I was so proud of myself. It may sound silly, but I really had a great experience.
So I just wish everybody, who are struggling with the same things as I do, some strength, courage and desire (the desire is really important) to change your situation. I believe everyone (and so do I) can overcome our social anxiety problems and become truly happy with the life we have!
P.S.: sorry for the possible grammar mistakes. English isn't my native language...
@MissMarsie19
I didn't see any mistakes and I usually spot them when I read the newspapers. :)
@CoinFountain then i am very glad because i really wanted this to be easy and pleasant to read. c:
@MissMarsie19 I'm glad to see you're improving. And it's a very brave and admirable thing to do! <3
Best wishes :-D
@talktome610 thank you!! 💕 to be honest, i realised that the one of the most important in overcoming social anxiety is also a strong desire to do so. maybe, a year ago i thought i won't be able to change anything because i just liked to be sad, to play a victim, because it is easier than work... now i don't think so. so yeah... gotta improve, hahah.
@MissMarsie19
Wow, that's so awesome! :D There was a time when I felt similarly and didn't like group work at school cause I had to speak to others to ask if they wanted to work with me and it often meant communicating more than I was used to in order to get things done. At the time I was very young and 7cups didn't exist yet. It was before the days of the internet even but somehow I gradually became less nervous about it. Now my social anxiety is mostly from the amount of energy it takes to talk and if I'm having a low energy day (like with depression or just didn't sleep enough) it feels like my mouth won't want to work that hard but I think it's different than worrying about what people will think or fearing making a mistake or words not flowing. It just seems exhausting some days.
@CoinFountain yes, I believe you're just feeling tired at those sad days. by the way, are you an introvert? if you are, then it is okay since introverts are prone to be more calm and satisfied with themselves more than with others. like, you know, we'd like to speak to some friends but that often and not that long as othets can. we need some time alone. i mean, i have these days, too. sometimes i have days when i am very talkative in spite of my social anxiety. so i totally get you. c:
@MissMarsie19
Yup, I'm an introvert mostly but when I get into a gathering of my college buddies that strangely makes me feel more energetic/hyper instead of drained. Extroverts who are loud or demand being center of attention 24/7 drain me fastest.
@MissMarsie19 you are not alone in you fear about speaking in public. I remember when I had to do a presentation at art college it frightened the living daylights out of me. The more you do it. The more you get used to it. When you have to speak publicly, prepare some notes before ahnd and take them with you. When it comes to doing a presentation, you'll be surprised. People if anything will praise you. If it is grammar you are worried about. Here is a tool that will be of help. It's called Grammarly and it is free to join.
https://www.grammarly.com You will find that it is all self explanitory.
@crimsonNest5372 yes, I know about notes but still it is very hard sometimes. anyway, thank you for the advice on grammar, i think i will find it useful at some point! 👍
@MissMarsie19 I don't know what your first language is, but reading your thread tells me that you have an excellent command of the English language. I take my hat off to you. I can imagine that if you are doing a presentation in a language that's not your own can be very daunting. Anyway, try not to worry. You'll be fine. It all comes with practice. On the grammar issue don't worry too much about it. The important thing is, you make yourself understood.