I just can't get in the car
I've been afraid of driving ever since I got my permit ten years ago. I went years without even practicing and finally in the last two years was gently pushed to start driving. I got pretty good driving back and forth to work. There's definitely anxiety while behind the wheel, but most of it reveals itself when presented with the opportunity to drive and before I get in the car.
Now, I'm so much closer to getting my license, and that's great, but the closer I get the more my anxiety amps up about all the things that could go wrong or like how all this effort could be for naught and so on. I finally finished my drivers ed classes, and all that's left is the behind the wheel lessons. But I get so stressed and mess up when people watch me do just about anything, especially something so important. It would mean so much more freedom. And that puts a massive amount of pressure on me ontop of all that I get from everyone in my life.
So I feel stuck between being a burden to them forever and finally spreading my wings. I don't know how to make myself procede. I feel like such a child asking for a ride every time I want to go somewhere or do something, so I mostly don't go anywhere that I can't walk to anymore. But that's no way to live. I have to do this for myself, I just don't know how to get past this barrier every time I'm handed a set of keys.
@moonrake Hello, thanks for sharing! Driving anxiety is quite common, and you show great self awareness, which makes a huge difference. How are you coping? It is great that you are able to commute to work when you can; that is tremendous progress! Each step makes a difference. We are here for you, and feel free to reach out to the listeners at any time if you ever need to talk with someone. Best wishes! :)