I feel trapped, Please Help
I have been dealing with anxiety my whole life, but over the last 5 years it has become increasingly worse and it's affecting my current relationship pretty bad. He is my 6th boyfriend(ADHD); my 1st one abused me physically and mentally for 9months (bipolar and scizophrenic) , my 2nd one abused me mentally/neglected me for 2 years, 3rd abused me physically/mentally and stole $3000 as well as he almost killed my cat and almost destroyed my identity (ADHD), 4th one used me for sex and destroyed our friendship, and the 5th one was very dependent but when I broke up with him he hit me (ADHD). My current boyfriend has been the best one I've had, he does have ADHD and anger management issues but he is extremely against putting hands on a woman. We've been together for 14months, but the 2nd half of our first year I accused him of cheating for 6months when he wasn't because of a small breach of trust and I haven't been able to get that trust back. He hasn't done anything to warrant me being that anxiety ridden. He resents what my anxiety has caused so far and the last 3months I've been working harder not to do certain things because they would just cause problems. When my anxiety gets out of hand he'll get really frustrated and yell at me. Even my Therapist tells me I have no need to be anxious because she has no doubt in her mind that he loves and cares about me so much, but he did tell me on Monday that if it continues to be bad he can't do it anymore.
@WorryFlurry Hmmm. Have you told your therapist your boyfriend yells at you for worrying and being anxious?
What's the longest time you've been single, with no boyfriend at all? Have you ever had a chance to work on yourself without worrying how it affects your partner?
@WorryFlurry
My partner also has this weird idea that getting angry at me when I am depressed or anxious can help.I think they get frustrated by what they don't understand or have power to change. But what would you say are his special qualities, apart from not beating up women? Haven't you been selling yourself cheap, if you excuse the expression?
@WorryFlurry
Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your past relationships which no doubt has been a really painful experience. Scars don't heal just like that, anxiety is very much real, and its not something that can be switched off. You said that compared to the previous Boyfriends your current boyfriend is the best one, because he is not physicly abusive. It seems you really value him because you have been together a really long time, and it seems he has tried to cope. He is probably feeling that your accusations are based on distroted or extremely anxious thoughts and feelings...my question would be...where does this stem from? Why do you fear to lose someone?