I feel like I have nobody to talk to
At this point I feel so tired, to start off I'm a teenager and I just feel alot if pressure.. For the most part it's because my perants have broke up even before I was born, so every week I'd be going from one house to another *when I was a child*, than my mother left us to go to Canada when I was just 3, leaving me with just my father who would drink every day and didn't have enough money to but as healthy food and just raise children.
I didn't understand where my mother left because I was just 3 years old, I asked my grandmother that day when she will come back and she lied to me that she will be back in 3 days.. which ended up being 3 years of me crying every day waiting for her to come back for me. And then when she came back she took me to Canada which shattered me fully.
Than now it has been over 5 years since I've seen my father. And I've been crying every single day because I missed him so much and realizing he missed every single big moment in my life including my childhood.
My mother did NOTHING to fix my mental health, I have attempted s h more than 1 time and she didn't know because our relationship is not well, if we talk it turns into her screaming and me crying wanting to k m s. Which also had led me to an E d because if her calling me fat and comparing me to skinnier girls.
Other than that I feel like I have nobody to talk to because all of my friends leave me out and talk to me like we are strangers.
@sunnyEast9813
Hi Sunny! <3 It seems like you're going through a lot, especially with the lack of communication with your parents. That can be extremely distressing especially as a child. It's understandable that it made you feel so hurt and created a drift in your relationship with your mom. It's unfortunate that the people or friends around you are unable to listen and support you the way you need them to. However I hope posting your feelings and thoughts here, or by talking to the listeners here, it eases your pain. <3
@sunnyEast9813
Hi, sunny<3
It sounds like you have been through so much in your life and that lately you have been feeling drained and exhausted with life. Staring to think about your childhood and how it's all been affecting you to now can be really difficult. Divorce can be so hard especially when you were so young. Moving between houses every week really takes its toll. Having your mom leave you so young must have been so confusing, not knowing where she was or why she left, which was only made worst by your grandmother lying to you. I know what it's like to lose parents too and have them leave. I know how painful and confusing it was for that to happen to you. You are really strong for going through this.
It must have been challenging to have your mom just suddenly come back into your life so unexpectedly. That must have been an adjustment and it's okie that that was really hard on you. Also really scary to be moved to another country in a completely new environment with someone you haven't seen in a long time. You must have been overwhelmed with so many different emotions.
I'm sorry that you haven't seen your dad in a long time. It is so unbearable to lose people. It's okie to cry and miss him like crazy. It can be really sad to think about all the times he's going to miss out on things. It's really unfair to you that you don't have a dad around and that you have a rocky relationship with your mom. It sounds like that's so much to cope with and have on your shoulders.
I can understand why you would be struggling so much. You have been through so much. It must be really frustrating that your mother seemingly neglects your mental health, nor do you feel comfortable talking or sharing with her. Words can really leave an impact. I'm sorry that she said those words to you. It's hard to let go of those thoughts when someone tells them to you. You are a beautiful person sun and anyone who gets to know you is lucky. It sounds like the relationship is really strained and you don't have much of support in your life. It can be really hard to have to face all this on your own.
As far as your friends that's really frustrating how they treat you and don't sound like the best of friends to you. That's no fun to feel left out or treated like a stranger. I know it can be hard when you feel so alone with your struggles. Especially when we have no one we trust enough to share them with. I'm proud that you started to share here. Just know that we are all here for you and that you are important.
I hope you are having a better day today, sending my best wishes to you <3 Essie (Estrellitaa)
@sunnyEast9813
Hey sunny :)
That sounds really tough and your going through really much stress at the moment because you have nobody to talk and you are feeling really alone. You probably don't have such a good bond with your mother because she left when you were 3. So you don't really know who to talk to. Do you have any other pupils at your school who you could talk to?
I hope you will feel better soon :)
Have a nice day
Rosie