I Can't Do Anything Right
I can’t do anything right. I always say the wrong things, I can’t make any friends because I can’t fit in to any group or clique, I was always a background character in my previous friend groups. I draw, I love to draw. But when I show people they always put me down. I want to write but I can’t, I’m a mediocre cook. I can’t focus on anything anymore, not even fun things like music or books. Everything is "I can’t" and I’m so sick of it. I want to cry so, so bad. I just want this all to stop but I can’t. I tried therapy but I was too shy to talk to MY OWN THERAPIST. MY OWN THERAPIST! It was so embarrassing, my god. I don’t want to tell my mom because I’m afraid that she’ll throw me into a mental hospital. I don’t have any friends. I tried talking to listeners on 7cups but they’ve all been meh (no offense to listeners, of course) I can’t focus on my schoolwork but I want to be a vet and my mom's always talking about how important education is and I want to make her proud. But I can’t. She gave up so much for me and I give her mediocrity and I feel like a burden. I feel like a skid mark on my family’s name. I feel like a failure and I just might be one.
I don’t know what I want by posting this but I’m stuck. I’m stuck and I don’t know how to get out.