How im feeling right now

Firstly to give you some context on who i am so that maybe you can better understand why i feel like i do.

I love sports. I have been playing field hockey for 10 years now, badminton for more and currently i just started playing tchoukball and floorball. These past few weeks i have been literrally playing a sport everyday including saturdays and sundays. Sports is a way for me to forget about stress, it makes me excited and focused and i have tons of fun. Hockey has been my life and i'm currently playing for a club where i really need to perform well because i am the center mid and i never get subbed out so i play the full hour everytime. I have a uni inter-faculty competition for tchoukball and floorball and also a league hockey tournament all coming up in august. But, i just sprained my ankle.

I know sprains arent that big a deal, i used to think that i could walk off a sprain but apparently i can't (I tried). The physiotherapist says that it'll take months to properly heal, time which i dont have. Plus everytime i walk, i am scarred. Scarred of the pain and scarred that i'll do something that makes it worse. I feel like i am letting down all my friends and team members because of this little sprain and i can't even begin to explain the frustration i feel at being so weak.

My parents are't helping much. My dad is always in his own world and my mum is the worst. Everytime i see her or everytime she talks to me all i hear in my head is 'You're so weak why can't you walk properly." or "What a wimp it's not like you're crippled". And she still asks me why am i in such a bad mood. Apparently my mood isnt bad enough because she announces to my extended family during dinner that i am in a bad mood as if it's wrong. This entire day i have been trying my very best to be happy, to not break down and start crying because No1. its not something that i do and No2. my mum is already stressed enough with my granddad who has been in and out of hospital removing blood clots in his head. Right now i am nothing but trouble to her and i can feel how much of a burden i am.

I know that this is a very common situation and in my case at least nothing is fractured or torn but everytime i walk i have to fight off this feeling of panic and fear and its really really difficult to have to keep holding off tears. I wish i could say all of this to a friend but i already feel like a burden i don't want to make it worse. So i decided to just send this out online where it'll probably just get covered by everything else thats happening. If you do read everything i have written then i really appreciate you taking the time. At least i know that someone will actually listen.