How I Feel Now? Tense and Terrified.

@perpetualfear I'm sorry that you have been feeling so stressed. This is a feeling I am constantly stuggling with. Having social anxiety means that I am constantly afraid of how others are percieving me in public and therefore I don't do well in prolongued social interactions. I also have what my coworkers call Imposter Syndrome which is the fear that we don't really belong with the people we are surrounded with. It means that I look at the people I am working with and I tell myself that I am not as good at my job as my peers. I tell myself that I have people fooled but soon they are going to figure it out and I am going to be let go.

It sounds like you are stuggling with imposter syndrome as well. And listening to the imposter syndrome's negative messages only increases our anxiety because we start to believe it. I can't say for sure if its possible to completely remove these types of thoughts from our lives but I have strategies that I use when I feel the 'imposter" trying to tell me I'm no good.

Firstly, it's important to run reality checks. The more we try to justify our crazy beliefs the more we find holes in our logic. My most commonly used reality check is used when I need to ask for help. I dread asking for help because it makes me feel like I am one step closer to someone figuring out I don't belong where I work. "I shouldn't ask because then they'll know just how stupid I am." But when I take a moment to break that argument down, I realize how stupid it is. I've had people ask me questions before. I have never thought that they were stupid or that they didn't belong. This isn't my first time asking a question in all my time here and no one has ever given me the sense that they think I am a fraud. So, asking for help isn't really a big deal and I should just go up to my coworker and ask.

Another tip I use is to take a moment and remember my accomplishments at work(big or small). If I truly didn't belong here or I truly didn't make a difference, then I wouldn't have accomplished anything. I don't know what type of work you do but I am sure you have done something to show you are a valued member of the team. You have worked well with others, you complete work on time, you are willing to cover other people's shifts, etc?

Last tip is to remember that you aren't the center of everyone's mind. This might sound really harsh and even negative but this has really helped me manage my anxiety at work and quiet the imposter syndrome at times. If I am worried if my coworker is talking to the boss and I question "Is it something about me" then this reminder is important. There is no reason to expect that two people I know are talking about me when I am not present. They must have other similarities other than knowing me that they can talk about socially. That coworker has thier own assignments that they need to discuss with the the boss rather than worry about my work preformance.

I hope this helps.I know how hard it is to quiet these types of thoughts. They can be debilitating and, if given the power, they can actually effect how we are living, working, relaxing, etc. If you would like to keep talking, maybe we can practice a few of these exercises together, I'm always here.