Fear or death

I've had panic and anxiety disorder earlier and after that a (pure) OCD appeared. It has been consuming to try to accept all the weird and scary thoughts going through my head instead of fighting them. I'm often afraid of going completely "mental" and getting locked up somewhere. So far nothing has hinted that I would, though.

Now my anxiety is coming back. Everything in my life seems to going super well right now - got accepted to an university, now at my dream summer job - and that's what frightens me. Or more specifically, losing all that frightens me. Especially at nights I roll around my bed, paying close attention to my bodily feelings and every distinct heartbeat as well as those I can't feel scares me and makes me move or sit up to "get my heart beating again". You can imagine how difficult this can make falling asleep. I'm afraid that if I fall asleep, I die. But as my symptoms aren't serious, seeking medical care at 2am isn't an option. I believe in God. At least I try my best to and I want to live to help other people, because I truly care. But my faith seems not to ne strong enough to combat the doubt of anxiety (and OCD). I tell myself to just trust God to let me survive the night, but immediately my mind feeds me the thought "What if He doesn't exist? What if I trust now and that will a fatal mistake?". My faith still gives me hope and motivation to be a better person. Can someone offer some helpful thoughts? 😣