Ending a Chapter
I have recently been diagnosed with OCD and GAD although I've known of the presence for many years. I have been in a high stress industry for 30 years. Was furloughed in March of 2020 due to Covid and was called back 16 months later and outsourced to a new and more stressful facet of the industry. After three months of thinking "If I could just get through another week of this all will start to smooth out", I ended up in the ER with a near break down. Took two weeks medical leave and went back. No good, the episodes only became more frequent. Two months later I am now on short term disability with no intention of returning. It will be a huge impact financially. Sooo...now I am battling the guilty, low self esteem and I'm a failure syndrome. Everyday I have to talk myself out of going back to the job. This love / hate relationship with this industry has to end. It looks like I may end up mixing paint or bagging groceries which may likely be a good thing as far as my mental health and happiness is concerned. Has anyone else had to make an occupational or financial sacrifice for the sake of their sanity? Would love to hear of any similar experiences.
I've worked with a couple of people who went through a similar situation. There was one guy who had a work injury, a concussion when he hit his head on a steel bar as he stood up, after reaching for a box in the warehouse. Everything went downhill afterwards. He was given a chemical compound when he did an MRI, and that changed his life forever. It's been 4 years since that was injected in to his blood stream. He could've been working these four years, but is now on long-term disability. Apparently the chemical compound used, is banned in many other countries, as it has affected the patient for the rest of their lives, with no treatment whatsoever. He's recently turned 65, and lives with his mum. He has no income, except for what the Government provides. He lives in pain, unknown aches, and is nearly bedridden (cannot be standing for more than 5 minutes, says it feels like pressure builds up in his head and the only way is to either sit or lie down). Financially, for about a year and half, I had "donated" money to him to help pay his bills.
Another lady, she had been on a medical leave for nearly two years, company only allows 2 years max., so I believe she's been talking with our Manager about a possible return. She has several medical difficulties, and is trying to see if she could come back part-time (although her previous position is a full-time).
Seeing these two situations, I feel that our health is very important. Whether that be our mental health or physical health, they both need to be addressed seriously. We cannot allow our health tie us down during work. As we get older, and experience "life" more, we realize that our health and happiness had been lacking previously. It's never too late to stop, and re-think what we can do heal our minds and achieve happiness.
Your love/hate relationship with the industry, maybe you can put it down for a while. Attend to your needs to heal yourself first, then when things seem more under control, go back into it? Maybe see if there are any kind of funding from the Government for short-term disability too.
Our sanity is definitely more important!~
@2scotties
@Jaeteuk
Thank you.........this was very helpful. I have been away from the job for a month now. Was hoping that time would help to heal the anxieties but it is not, although a month is not a long time. The job is not likely the root of the problem. I am seeking professional psychiatric help moving forward as my anxieties are triggering episodes of physical illness. I will likely have to commit to an anti-anxiety medication program which I have been very resistant to doing for a long time. I am currently dabbling with CBT. I hope to find the find the avenues back to happiness. But then again.....maybe I have experienced true happiness. Thank you again!