Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Anxiety Support
  3. Emotionally distant/immature parents

Emotionally distant/immature parents
tidyBeing55 January 20th, 2020
.

Hi everyone! Ive never posted here before, but I joined 7cups because Im discovering more and more of the personality quirks, anxiety, depression, self-esteem issues, and relationship dynamics I have are a result of not only losing my parents as a child, but being raised by my grandma and my step grandpa who are emotionally distant, and emotionally immature. (My Step grandpa being the worse of the two, being very emotionally immature, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive.)

Im slowly realizing how all of this has made me the constantly worrying and anxious person I am today. Having very emotionally uninvolved parents made me very independent, which in some ways Im glad because Im happy where I am now- but I also lack the bonding skills people get from having a healthy relationship with family growing up. Im very uncomfortable with women, being around family dynamics, and have a not great track record in choosing emotionally mature men in my romantic relationships.

I donno, Im just kind of putting this out there and wondering if anyone else has been raised by emotionally distant or immature parents, how the think its affected them, and how theyre trying to get past these things today.

Im also reading a couple of books if anyone is interested.

All the best ❤️

3
cloudly6 January 20th, 2020
.

Hi, I can relate with your post. My mum was emotionally distant with me. Never let me into her life. Whenever I would say I'm sad or tired, she would say something like you think you're the only one tired, everyone else is tired. Whenever something would worry me, I just didn't bother to talk to her.

As a result of this, I find it difficult to trust people. I find it hard to say no. I also find it hard to bond with other people.

Hopefully, you're doing okay.

luxx454 January 20th, 2020
.

@tidyBeing55 My dad was emotionaly distant most of my life, and perhapts that was the reason I chased the feeling of acceptance and being needed. And while our past relationships infleunce us especially if they are family, it is important for us to realize that those past relationships do not have to define us. This is still something I am trying to learn to but loving ourselves more despite not getting the "love" from our family is important to healing because nobody will help you but yourself

Bluecat57 January 22nd, 2020
.

Hi everyone,

I have been there as well. My mother was a functioning alcoholic and even though she managed the day-to-day life, she was unable to support me emotionally. I grew up too fast and took on responsibilites that should never have been mine.
I am still struggling with those issues, especially as I am a mother myself and I always worry about making the right decisions/giving the right support to my son as I have no example to follow.

I envy those whose families were "normal" & I sympathise with you all.

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist