Did you build your own sinking ship?
Hi everyone. 
So the title says it all, perhaps I should explain.
We make choices everyday. Small decisions like which pair of socks to wear and big once like which high school to attend or what job to get.
But you can make bad choices. Choices that don't necessarily have to seem bad at the time. But then you think back and regret it. Some time later you look back and see the choices that got you where you are today, those bad choices put you in the situation you are in today. Which might not be a great situation. Say you picked a dead-end job for example.
You built your own sinking ship, dug your own grave and all those similar metaphors.
I've done this yup. Following the metaphor I built my own sinking ship, dug my own pit which I fell into. I made the choices, and today my life is the way it is because of those choices. Nothing is terrible no, but things could have been better if I had just made different choices.
Sooo this post is to come to terms with this I suppose, acknowledge my mistakes or bad choices. I know bad decisions are just a part of life. Some do say that you learn more from mistakes, they make you wiser.
Mainly I'm kinda curios, has anyone else built their own sinking ship?
And now we are just trying to stay afloat or get back to shore, perhaps repair the ship.
@VDarkAge
Our personal decisions do impact our future. I know I could've made better decisions in parts of my life. But it can be much deeper than that. Other factors play in. Sometimes, it's the storm that destroys part of your ship. Then, you attempt to fix it, but unintentionally make it worse. What I mean is, our circumstances can effect our mindset, thus causing us to make bad decisions--not always because we mean too. Though it is good to take responsibility for things that you really could've had better control of yourself, our environment/atmosphere/social or family surroundings can also greatly impact our personal ability to make good or bad decisions.
This is the part where we have to identify what made us start to think 'this' way. Then slowly, but surely break away from the bad decision/thinking habits we've involuntarily learn from our negative environment/social or family surroundings.
@BlueDusk99
I don't mean to sound confusing, but I also want to say again that it is very good to take responsibility for your own actions. I do the same as well. My home life is very toxic, so I know that plays into my poor decision making. But I also know that it's time for me to step up.
@BlueDusk99
Hmm that is indeed very true. Gives me a bit of a different perspective.
I have no clue what was going on in my head years ago, how am I supposed to remember that. But I can easily remember the circumstances, the situation. Honestly I've never had the best home life with my family. Pretty sure my parents were to busy with raising my siblings to pay me much attention. I remember a lot of alone time when I was a child. When I go down that line I often come to the conclusion I raised myself. I'm not sure though. Then again this was years ago, when I was a kid even so like 15 years ago, I don't remember it.
Soo raised myself. Not brilliant self esteem, I think I was kinda depressed back then and I might still be. Anxious yeah somewhat. Well with all that in mind it's not a total surprise that I've made bad decisions. I just keep looking for something more. A bigger reason to why I made bad decisions. What I've mentioned...just doesn't feel like enough.
@VDarkAge
I understand how you feel. And There probably is something more. Our history can also effect the way we make decisions. Our past is always part of our future in more than one way. Maybe if you do your best to look further into the way you grew up, that might show you more reasons for you decisions. It's good that you're recognizing the importance of your decision making. Not everyone has a good recognition of that.
I've always felt alone as a child. Among other things, isolation can mean that you never really had much guidance on how to make better decisions. Although, common sense should show you how to make certain proper decisions regardless. My parents have shaped my mind in ways: some good, more bad. Bad, in terms of me being fearful all of the time, and thinking less of myself.
I hope you're able to find out more about what has influenced the decisions you say have been poorly made.
@BlueDusk99
That is indeed very true. Our history, our memories and our experiences. Good or bad they shape us. And yes like you said, good or bad parents they still effect us and at least somewhat shape us.
I was often alone as a kid. Not sure I can say I had much...direction. I don't think that much about myself either. I wonder more like "what would he/she think or do, or react" to whatever the situation is.
I can try to recall more about my childhood. Obviously something was like a catalyst and set things in motion, not sure what though. Kinda absent parents, bullying older brother (siblings are a pain on occasion) loneliness...hmm. I can say I got so used to being alone that nowadays I like it. Somewhat of an introvert. :3