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Communicating and public speaking

empathicYosu1506 December 6th, 2020

My biggest fear is being asked to present or talk in public, even in my class. I get panic attacks, my whole body shakes, I end up forgetting what I have to say. Needless to say that I stutter when I talk to people I don't know, even I can't talk properly with my friends. Because of that I feel left out due to my bad communication, I'm quiet and silent most of the time, even the moment I talk they barely listen to me. It's like I'm either ignored or they didn't hear what I said. It's frustrating. I wish I could have a higher self-esteem and more confidence in myself. But it's just too hard.

1
thoughtfulmomma December 6th, 2020

@empathicLove1506

I have always had a fear..or discomfort...of speaking in front of people or speaking to people I don't know. Pounding heart, sweaty hands, stuttering and stammering.

If you were to attend a function where I stood up and speak, you would say "wow - this woman really has it together. She's so comfortable and confident." Because people tell me that all the time. And then I tell them that I was terrified during that whole talk, and they are shocked.

So, I haven't ever gotten over my fear of public speaking, I just have learned how to deal with it and "get the job done." Years ago I purposely put myself in situations where I was required to speak in front of others. UGH. But I did it, because I knew I had to. It was important for me and my career. I still do it. And as for speaking to strangers, I still don't like it. I'm happy to just sit quietly and listen to everyone else. But you'd never know by looking at me.

Really, I'm a big fat liar when it comes to being social. I'm not as extremely freaked out as I used to be, but I've been working on it for a few decades. And almost every day I'm forced to talk to someone I don't know because of work.

I guess what I'm saying is - try to pick a situation that you know is going to be uncomfortable, and just jump into it. Start simple - join a Zoom webinar on some topic you're interested in hearing more about, have a question already written down that you want answered, and ask it. Or go to the grocery store and ask a stranger in the aisle where a particular product is. But don't beat yourself up about it if you're feeling scared. You'd be surpised at the number of very famous people who have a fear of public speaking.