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Anxiety/depression sucks!

fighter23 June 9th, 2017

I feel so drained and tired. Between my depression and anxiety being so awful this week I am losing hope and want to throw in the towel! When it strikes it's fast and furious. Then I get depressed afterwards, Other times it's my depression first then I have an anxiety attack afterwards.

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MouKarai June 9th, 2017

It totally sucks! Hang in there, friend :(

1 reply
fighter23 OP June 9th, 2017

@MouKarai thank you! I am really trying! Every day having these attacks are taking a toll on me though. Sometimes it's more than once a day. Then I become depressed afterwards. I can't seem to win.

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uniquechelle June 14th, 2017

@fighter23 This is the same way I feel and I hate it Im only 23 Im like Im not suppose to feel like this Im pose to be freely happy but I been through so much then what I should have which Is why I have these attacks it just started happening so I know its because of my problems being build up and not releasing it

3 replies
fighter23 OP June 14th, 2017

@uniquechelle I feel for you! Chat me up if you would like! I am 21 so you aren't that much older than me. I do know one thing for sure is by holding it all in it's not helping, rather you are making it worse. Talk it out and try different things to calm you down. Have you tried any alternatives?

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uniquechelle June 14th, 2017

@fighter23 No thats why I created this to help occupy my mind the hospital trying to give me pills but I dont want to

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YogiBear10 June 16th, 2017

It sucks more when we choose the wrong coping mechanisms. Glad you chose the right ones for yourself @fighter23

1 reply
fighter23 OP June 16th, 2017

@YogiBear10 Thank you I may not always choose the right ones, but all that matters is I am trying. I don't believe in medication so I am trying other alternatives instead. I believe we all have our days but medication should be a last resort! This post was one of my harder days that were prolonged.

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uniquechelle June 17th, 2017

I freaking hate it I feel worried all the time like something bad about to happen always zoning out had to go to the ER 2day

1 reply
fighter23 OP June 17th, 2017

@uniquechelle I am sorry. Zoning out sometimes is our a safe place. Would you like to explain more? You're strong. Don't give up!

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XtinaSunshine June 17th, 2017

@fighter23 I'm sure we all have been there one time or another, but just like your name I can tell you're a fighter! <3 You got this!

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fighter23 OP June 17th, 2017

@XtinaSunshine Awe thanks!! <3 I am sure we have. I know I am not alone!

4 replies
Warr10r June 17th, 2017

@fighter23 Hey fighter! I was yellowballoon before! How's it goin' today?!

3 replies
fighter23 OP June 17th, 2017

@Warr10r love the screen name!! It's going decent. A bit of anixety because I have 100+ pages of reading to do by tomorrow (slow reader), 2 documentaires to watch (2 hours long), 4 people's post to comment on (500 words each) and notes to take on both the reading and documentaires. We just finished submitting our assignment last night so it's not like I have been able to get ahead.

How are you!!?

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Warr10r June 17th, 2017

@fighter23 I have so much homework too. I feel you! Super stressed.

1 reply
fighter23 OP June 17th, 2017

@Warr10r Will take a deep breath together and get it done. I do intervals of like 20 minutes- 60 and then take a small break, then go back to it. We got this!! :)

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Warr10r June 17th, 2017

@XtinaSunshine You know I have!

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uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

I have a headache and feel like everyone is against me that's around me one day they happy with me and the next I'm such a bad person smh all I do is work and come home and try to make sure ppl good but it seems all I create is problems they keep using my past to make me feel guilty

19 replies
Warr10r June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle Hey, I get it. I feel that way too, but everyday we have the power to choose who to be. Don't let your past define you. You're here now and hopefully choosing to be the best you. And that's all you can do! Gotta follow my own advice once in awhile.

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uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

@Warr10r yeah it's better said then done I tell you I was doing good all day until I had this one argument and it turned my whole emotions/attitude around now I can't get happy again

1 reply
fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle What have you tried to calm yourself down and get the happy feeling back?

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle

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uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

@fighter23 Heyyy🤗

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle Hi I don't know why your screen name got tagged separately.

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle Hi! I completely understand what you're saying. I am sorry you are feeling this way but know you aren't alone. I deal with this daily and feel the same way. Just know one day we will get out of it. Right now we just need to keep faking it until we make it. Find ways to release everything you are bottling up. I know I just cried it out and it takes a lot for me to cry (especially in front of people).

What is done is done! Don't let whatever you did in the past break you. Once you stop reacting to their bullcrap, they wil stop doing it because they will realize it is no longer phasing you.

For example, my family is known for yelling and I used to yell back continously. Now my anxiety won't let me. But now I am not being yelled at as much because I am not yelling back.

keep your chin up friend! <3

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uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

@fighter23 your answers are so motivating it's crazy how I feel more relief talking to you and @warrior more then my own blood...Im definitely trying to keep my chin up and it's works every now and then....i will not give up I cry but when I do it makes it worse because I can't stop I have no one to lean on grew up with out my parents had no guidance I'm Learning everyday on my own

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle Awe I am glad I am able to help you and @warr10 is too.

Here's the thing I am in a very similiar situation and I am starting to learn all of this. I hope you don't mind that I keep relating it back to me, but it's just because I recognized this sooner or people came into my lifer sooner. One there is no shame in crying. It is natural. Sometimes you just have to let it out. The reason you can't stop is because your body isn't used to crying. Let yourself cry it all out and I promise it get's easier. One day I was in my boss's office. Started crying, she shut the door, she waited for me to stop and then we talked. The next day I felt so much stronger. Literally your body is trying to release the anger and be stronger but by not letting yourself cry you're hurting yourself more.

Things will get bettter. Two the second piece of advice. You can't choose your family but you can your friends and more than half the time they become your family. I am not close to my family. In fact, I could run away, they wouldn't miss me nor would they care. They would miss the fact that things weren't getting done. I started searching for support outside of family and found the strength I needed to keep going. I started off with one now I have like 4. I slowly started opening up because I have major trust issues, but I have found that starting with small things, and working my way up to the harder stuff helped. This process allowed me to see who cared.

10 replies
fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@warr10r

uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

@fighter23 I have no problem with you keep relating to your situation because that can be a way that help you open your eyes to the same advice you giving me is something that you have been telling yourself but me as the person you telling it to it helps...I use to do poetry but I stopped I think I need to start back as I read back over it I was like damn I really overcame a lot

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Warr10r June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle and @fighter23 you guys help me so much. @fighter23 the part about crying... I think I really needed to hear that. Thank you. I think that hurting really sucks, but it makes healing feel really good. When I believe that I deserve it, I start to allow myself to cry and heal. It's hard to get to that place though!

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uniquechelle June 18th, 2017

@Warr10r @fighter23 this hurt that we going through is only a lesson/blessing I thank God for putting me through this at a young age so my heart can be able to heal early instead of being older and not being able to get over it easy because it's to late I keep it in my head that this pain is only making us smarter and stronger so any situation that comes fourth we can handle it💆💪

fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@Warr10r Awe!! Glad I can be of assistance. It is really hard to get there but feels so rewarding after all. I find myself crying for no reason at points, and it's because usually I bottled so much up that it was just trying to release. I was trying to heal without knowing it.

I used bottle everything up, not talk, until eventually I would explode. I was angry at the world. This side of me scared me. I am so glad I overcame it and have a few people I can go to, to vent and just move on. By not storing everything I am happier. Funny how that works! I perceived crying as weak, vulnerable and not allowed, but the anger was killing me more because I never knew what would be my breaking point. (It could be something as little as someone took a pencil and didn't give it back, but it got there because I just kept holding it all in)

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@uniquechelle Okay good. I know a lot of peopple will be like will you shut up already. But like if I know it helped me then I know it could help others. Whatever works for you! Poetry is a great way to get it out there. I have recently started doing different forms of journaling which is helping me be more positive daily. I bet you have overcome a lot. You are a fighter, don't forget that!!

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Warr10r June 18th, 2017

@fighter23 and @uniquechelle you guys get me! I tell myself crying is weak all the time, and then yup, I explode. Over nothing. Which also makes me feel weak. It's a crazy catch 22 we put ourselves in! And unique, yeah, I totally see the blessing and curse thing. I just hope it's all for the best in th end!

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@Warr10r @uniquecehelle Funny how that happens! If you think about it crying is considered a stength because of the stigma around. You both have helped me realize how far I have come! Thank you for helping me end my night on a positive. You both just made it into my positivity journal! :)

This is the quote I live by (my boss printed and hung it on her door when I emailed it to her) "Stop beating yourself up! You are a work in progress which means you get there A LITTLE AT A TIME NOT all at once." Remember to give yourself credit. Cry when needed, channel the anger in a positive fashion. YOU'RE NOT WEAK! I have been there if you start treating yourself nicely it does get better!

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Warr10r June 18th, 2017

@fighter23 thanks so much for the encouragement, fighter! I needed this too tonight!

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fighter23 OP June 18th, 2017

@Warr10r So glad we both had cheering up! I am here whenever you want to talk!:)

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