Anxiety and relationship
Hi! I want to introduce my story short - I was bullied for 9 years at my primary school, my mother is literally bullied by my father. I used to selfharm, I fell into depression and anxiety, of course. My only friend (we knew each other for 8 or 9 years) left me alone because of her boyfriend. Sad. I felt really bad for several years and I totaly blocked the feeling of love.
Now, I have a boyfriend. We were really close friends, he used to help me with selfharming and he catched me everytime I fell, basically. And yes, I can say that I love him in some way. But on the other side, I feel anxious and frozen, when it comes to sweet moments like huging, kissing... Yeah and you know... The general quotes doesn't really matter here because I don't fit in a box labeled "normal people". I'm just stuck because I feel really happy with him and I can feel some love, but on the other hand... It causes me anxiety to be close to someone. Because what if this or what if that...? I think that you know that quiet voice in your head.
Have a nice day,
Mel 
@GettingUp
That can be difficult, but take stock in the current situation. Your boyfriend understands you, anxiety, depression and self-harm and has helped you with these. That means he knows that you suffer from anxiety and accepts you. Most of us here have bad experiences in the past that contribute to current states of mind. Listening to guided meditation and working on exercises to try to quiet the mind could be helpful.
