Anxiety about the future
So I grew up in a family from the lower the lower class. Everyday was a struggle for my mom to put food on the table. My dad was a abusive guy who did drugs and went to jail for said abuse against me. My mom always repeated this one thing to my sister and I: I love my life and my kids but I want so much better for you two. I am the first one in my family to go to university. It is a huge struggle financially but I do what I can because I want a better future for myself. But with this comes pressure and anxiety. I had an amazing boyfriend for 5 years and together we worked towards and were creating a great future. Until he left and with him went that future. Now that I am alone I am terrified. What if I can't create this amazing future by myself? I am terrified to drive! And after uni I will have a huge student load to pay back! How will I buy a house? Together we had a plan for all of this but now that I'm alone I don't have a plan and I hate the unknown. I love my family to death but I don't want my life to be like theirs. This is causing me a great deal of anxiety.
@PerfectlyImperfectt21
Dear
I understand you so well...Fearing the unknown is normal, you have nothing wrong. I believe you are just a responsible person who wants to build up a good future, and this obviously involves an effort, and a concern about when/how/what/etc... If you come from a difficult past, it is understandable that you just wanna do your best to not "go back there".
I am told every day that I shall stop overthinking, and just enjoy life...I appreciate the suggestion, but at the same time think that my "concerns", my "overthinking" are just my own way to live my life in a responsible way. If for example I don't spend money in useless things it is not because I am not able to enjoy life...it's more because I make calculations on what I can/cannot do to not end up in trouble.
So...my conclusion is that the (not easy) solution is to find the right balance...consider what shall be done today in order to have a better tomorrow without being obsessed.