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Action Creates Confidence

User Profile: oakhenge
oakhenge January 21st, 2018

On January 10 I attended a day-long workshop for brave women, smart women who have consolidated research and presented us with the facts so that we can make informed decisions about how we are going to approach our myraid of daily choices and our very lives. One section was entitled the "Confidence Code / Myth". I think there may be a book by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Any way, what we were presented with is how we feel about confidence and what is true about confidence. This information helped me this week, Jan 14, when I imploded by the end of the week into a full blown panic attack but yet never let go of my good habits or hope. So, in my experience this week, what I learned Jan 10 on this was powerful. Here it is.

We feel like - women mostly feel this way all the time - we need confidence before we can take an action (ask for a raise, a donation, a night off, etc.). What the evidence shows though is that action breeds confidence.

If we are overweight, we are afraid for a host of reasons. But if we act, if we lose 10 pounds we feel more confident. Then we get afraid again because we have more than 10 pounds to lose. Still, we act again, and shed another 10 pounds, now we are 20 pounds down. We are even more confident now. Then, fear knocks on our door again. We hear it but we act again and, bam, another 10 pounds is off. And so the spiral goes. Fear will always come knocking but confidence will never manifest until we take the first small action toward what we truly want.

BUMPER STICKER: Action Creates Confidence

This week, I had a couple of health and creative issues that triggered a major panic attack - haven't had one of those for a little over two years. And, maybe my inner work cleaning out some mental cobwebs also contributed to the attack. Still, even while it was happening and no amount of continued affirmations or mindfulness or breathing was going to stop it, I sorta just took my "as needed" pills and rode the wave. I questioned, I observed, I felt stupid but I didn't judge and, most importantly I think, I kept acting in my highest self's best interest - I kept going to the gym for my energetic workouts, I kept eating nutritarian, I kept my mind focused and so did not succumb to sadness or depression. I am thankful for the confidence code!

I'm sure I won't always act first but I did this week when it counted. I hope this code helps others too. Warm blessings!

2
User Profile: Darkseed
Darkseed December 11th, 2018

@oakhenge

That sounds great. It sounds like it was a really worthwhile experience. I think a lot of it could also relate to men. Like you, there are times when panic attacks don't work with just therapy or meditation; i have to take as needed prescribed medication and do like you did. In the sense of a catharsis, maybe the anxiety attack represented a release of some negative memories (poor term, when I say negative I mean memories that were unfortunate) and you were able to release that.

There's a huge retreat center in the Southwest that I enjoy going to when I can, but they are so expensive. For a private room with a private bath, they want $150/night. Yet, they have programs like the one you mentioned. They're also really expensive, like $1500-$2000 for 5-7 days. I wish i had that kind of money to attend those. Maybe one day in the future I will.yes

User Profile: Darkseed
Darkseed December 11th, 2018

@oakhenge

That sounds great. It sounds like it was a really worthwhile experience. I think a lot of it could also relate to men. Like you, there are times when panic attacks don't work with just therapy or meditation; i have to take as needed prescribed medication and do like you did. In the sense of a catharsis, maybe the anxiety attack represented a release of some negative memories (poor term, when I say negative I mean memories that were unfortunate) and you were able to release that.

There's a huge retreat center in the Southwest that I enjoy going to when I can, but they are so expensive. For a private room with a private bath, they want $150/night. Yet, they have programs like the one you mentioned. They're also really expensive, like $1500-$2000 for 5-7 days. I wish i had that kind of money to attend those. Maybe one day in the future I will.yes