Social Anxiety Exercises
---Recognizingunrealistic thinking---
Sufferers of social anxiety tend to overestimate the degree of danger in a situation causing them to have unrealistic and/or irrational thoughts. It's important that you are able to recognize these thoughts and replace them with more rational and realistic thoughts. Examples of unrealistic/irrational thoughts:
"No one will like me!"
"I'm going to say something stupid!"
"I'll do something foolish and other people will laugh!"
Exercise #1 for recognizing unrealistic thinking: Ask yourself what it is that you are afraid will happen, it may be something you're afraid you might do (e.g "I'll embarrass myself", "I'll have nothing to say", "I'll blush.") or something you're afraid someone else will do/think (e.g "Nobody will like me", "what if someone notices that I'm anxious.") To become more aware of these specific fears, compile them into a list (digital or written) as you identify them. Repeat this exercise for about a week or so (or longer if you wish.)
Exercise #2 for recognizing unrealistic thinking: Question yourself about your unrealistic thoughts. It can be helpful to ask yourself whether your thoughts are based on facts and whether they are helpful. If they aren?t, try and identify more accurate and helpful
thoughts. Examples of questions to ask yourself to help examine thoughts:
Am I 100% sure that _____________ will happen?
How many times has ______________ actually happened?
What is the evidence that supports my thought? What is the evidence that does not support my thought?
Is _______________ really SO important that my whole future depends on it?
Does _________________?s opinion reflect everyone else?s?
Am I responsible for the entire conversation?
What is the worst realistic thing that could happen?
What can I do to cope/handle this situation?
What is another way of looking at this situation?
What would I say to my best friend if he/she was having this thought?
(Look in the posts to this thread for examples of these filled out.)
Exercise #3 for recognizing unrealistic thinking: Sometimes it can be helpful to examine the truthfulness of your thoughts or beliefs. For example, how bad would it be if others saw you blush/shake, or how terrible would it be if you did say something stupid? We often predict that it would be horrible if these things happened, and that we would be unable to cope. However, we need to test this out! Purposely try to shake, and see how others react. Plan to say something foolish or ask an obvious question and see what happens! Be careful not to assume that others are reacting negatively ? look at the facts! What did they do or say? Was it as bad as you thought?
What am I afraid will happen if I go to the party? I?ll say something stupid.
Am I 100% certain that I?ll say something stupid at the party? No, not 100% certain.
How many times have I said something stupid at a party? A few times, but not every time.
What is the evidence that supports my thoughts? Once, I made a joke that no one laughed at. Another time, I made a comment about a movie that didn?t make sense. And another time, I asked an obvious question and someone started laughing.
What is the evidence that does not support my thoughts? I have gone to parties in the past and did not say anything stupid. I have had a few good conversations at parties. The last time I went to a party, someone said I was funny.
Is not saying something stupid so important my whole future depends on it? Well, it would be embarrassing, but no, my whole future does not depend on it.
What is the worst realistic thing that could happen? I do say something stupid and people laugh.
What could I do to cope? I guess I could try and crack a joke about it. Or, I could excuse myself and go get some fresh air.
Is there another way of looking at this situation? Everyone says stupid things once in a while.
What would I say to a friend who had this thought? It?s not the end of the world. We all say silly things and most of the time people don?t remember exactly what you said.
No one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Also, it?s unrealistic to think everyone will like us. Do you like everyone? Anxiety is often a private experience that others don?t notice. Even if they do, it doesn?t mean that they will think less of you. Haven?t you ever seen someone else anxious? It?s normal. It?s okay to be imperfect and to feel anxious. It?s part of being human! Rather than fighting these things, try working on accepting them.
I am sort of a recluse, so I guess I have no reason to reply. But since when did that stop anyone from giving their two cents? ;)
We tend to be so worried about what others will think of us: how we look, what we say... I believe that most of the people you meet wouldn't notice if you wore your underwear on your head! Their only concern is what people think ofthem . People don't even tend to listen to what you are saying; they are merely waiting for a pause and their turn to speak.
Social anxietyis real and in no way do I try and make light of it. We just have to stop giving power over to people who we really don't care about or respect. Seen from this light, it seems silly. Seen from the other side, it seems terrifying.
I'm giving these exercises a shot, I avoid social situation at all cost and this school semester I decided to take a class on campus instead of online to challenge myself and get myself back out there. Communication public speaking probably shouldn't have been my first choice of class for my first class I've taken in a while on campus but oh well.
It's good that you're challenging yourself! Of course public speaking is a hard thing for everyone, but I'm sure that taking a class and having practice will definitely help a lot.
Thank you for sharing these exercises! they're really helpful and I can offer them as suggestions to try for my members or guests who are struggling with anxiety :)
Wow, I love important informations I'll look into it thank u.
