@PinetownTree

Hey. Well, it sounds like your car has been through quite the adventure with all that gunk, pollen, and sawdust! And not to forget the daring envelope slide! But with all those layers in between, it's highly unlikely that any real contamination happened.

I understand anxiety can make even the smallest things seem like a big deal, but trust me, your car is a tough cookie. It's faced all sorts of environmental elements, and a brief encounter with an envelope won't do much harm. If the anxiety persists, maybe it's time to give your car a superhero name like "Captain Clean" or "Dustbuster" to remind yourself that it's tough and resilient. And if watching car movies still makes you think of your own beloved car, maybe switch to something less car-related for now, like fluffy kitten videos or hilarious comedies, haha.

It's normal to have worries and fears, but it's important not to let them control our lives or restrict our activities.

@patientSky1754

It's one of my worst fears, someone touching my car especially from this current job which has left me with the torment I feel now...I'm trying to justify that there was no contact with my windshield or wiper because they were dirty...

even doing something nice, my car is super sentimental, I just want help in some thoughts why the envelope didn't contact it directly

@PinetownTree

Hello Pine,

We hear you and acknowledge you. It takes a lot of courage to share. We appreciate you for taking the time out.

What do you need to make it “ok”?

When is something cleansed of the contaminations?

@Barltik2065

It's scary because once something has contaminations it has to be discarded usually...obviously I can't do that here but my heart's broken cause the car is very special to me.

@PinetownTree

WOW.
Yea it must be rough! You are not alone!

So I am seriously invested here. So, now. if you usually discard the item and in this case as you mentioned you can't... What can be done?

@Barltik2065

What's worst is special places to me, cities or states usually...places where I went with relatives or places that have meaning to me from movies or TV or something

If someone icky goes there or touches something sent there then I can't think on the good times or memories, only the filter of the new contaminations that cloud the good

I'm trying to justify my car was not touched, only the envelope was touching the grime on it, my car is very sentimental so this has been horrifying to me

@PinetownTree

Right right, we hold value to memories and all. I have things as such in my life.

What can I do to help with the justification?

@Barltik2065

For my car, just some kind of proof it wasn't touched directly...

Rememeber I was in the hospistal, in bed for several weeks, they were trimming trees down on my street so lots of sawdust, lots of pollen in the spring when it occurred, plus the usual grime or oil cars get covered in on the windshield or wipers

@Barltik2065

Didn't quite reply to your specific question...

In the case of my car I'm trying to reassure myself that between everything on the car, the envelope didn't touch the car itself directly...that was working but recent stress has opned it up where I can't get myself t believe it

2nd, I'm praying God helps me someway, erases my past, changes the past, gives me some sign the car wasn't touched directly

@PinetownTree

“kind of proof it wasn't touched directly...” “… reassure myself that between everything on the car, the envelope didn't touch the car itself directly”

You have shown great strength and we are here to support you.

Here is something to think on … “I'm praying God helps me …”

Your mom has wiped your car off. Which has removed the debris and physical contaminants.

Next take the car and wash it at which would be like a baptism bathing, at which would be a renewing. It was would be cleansed and made new.

@Barltik2065

That's kind of what my mom said, God told her it was fine (she's very spriritual, when she prays for things they happen in like 3 days) but uncertainties tell me something got past the oil, pollen, dirt, sap, sawdust...

Despite every bit of logic, I still feel something is wrong. :(

@PinetownTree

Moms are usually right. It can be annoying from time to time. But usually they are spot on and we appreciate them for it.

So I would go along with Mom and utilize the baptism as a cleansing process. That way you know all is well.

Now in regards to “Despite every bit of logic, I still feel something is wrong. :(”

It is ok to feel that way, right now. We have these feelings for a reason. For me, it is usually some process I missed a step and I need to go back through and complete. Or something someone had told me and I had forgotten.

So I would say, let us develop a process that would define “what is ok” and that way we can develop safety margins.

So what is “OK”?

@Barltik2065

I'm not sure what's "ok" now...the contaminations have spread so much recently that I don't know what's left that is ok. I'm kind of digging through the rubble right now, the car thing didn't even bother me too much when it first took place because I was trying to justifying it or understand it wasn't touched but with my mental-episode last month everything skyrocketed in tormenting me.

My new therapist told me this morning that the car was 100%, that I need to just live with it because that's good ERP progress, but this kind of thinking is only going to further hurt me...

Hey you have my absolute support as you work through this healing process. I have a similar OCD issue (maybe not as severe) where if I get touched in the early morning before I finish my coffee I also feel contaminated. It seems super silly to people but I have panic attacks if it happens and have to even sometimes start over my coffee.

So anyway, I hope your Mom keeps praying she sounds cool.

@BriLovesEveryone

She prays but I want these tormenting things from the last two years erased from my life, like how things were in 2021 before I lived through them but she is praying I move past them somehow.

I don't see how I can ever get over the thoughts, knowing things that happen or were touched or triggering conversations...thoughts I can't get out of my mind.