@maijourney Do you think you can 'retrain' your mind to think of 'failures' as instead, steps on a path to learning? Just like you probably didn't learn to walk perfectly immediately as a toddler, and only managed a step or two at first, and you fell on your butt or fell on your face or tripped often, but each time you got up and you just kept doing it until it became easier and easier, maybe there is a way you can work on convincing yourself that each effort is just that, a step in a process. And if it isn't perfect the first time, so what? So many efforts are not perfect the first time. That is all just a part of the way that we learn and gain experience and grow. Maybe imagine how you would speak to a good friend or loved one who was feeling that way about something she or he was trying to accomplish and too scared to try?
I hope you will find the supports you need here and that you'll learn to be gentle with yourself. Best of luck on your journey.