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tough love
phuntphunt January 20th, 2023
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i categorised this forum post as a general topic because i'm not sure how do i really categorise it as.

on monday my tutor said that she would sometimes give feedback for our work firmly or harshly, but then it shouldn't let us develop thoughts like "my work sucks", "i'll never make it", "i suck", etc. what i inferred was that there will be some form of tough love in the process.

i am the kind of person who doesn't take tough love well. i'd either panic, break down, develop self-hatred (thoughts like what she mentioned), or maybe get a little self-defensive. i'm only 20, and i know that down the road there will be many more instances where people show tough love towards me. if i keep reacting this way, i don't think it'll do me any good, and i want to fix that. how can i receive tough love in a more "healthy" manner?

3
toughTiger6481 January 20th, 2023
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@phuntphunt

You are young and yes you will encounter this many ways in life.......many do not handle it well IMO many people run from it or feel like they are being picked on.

my advice is try not to take too personally........

look deeper if some nugget of truth is in there of a skill you can work on or a view you may not have considered...... many times a person is trying to show you another way of approaching something and while you may not always do things like others you have a better understanding of their point of view by being willing to at least look.

OliveThrone January 20th, 2023
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@phuntphunt

I can see how hearing someone criticize skills you're taking time to develop can be frustrating, even if you recognize that many of these comments are coming from a kind place. Thinking about this ahead of time is already helping you to prepare for this type of feedback, and I can see that you're beginning to recognize the feelings you're experiencing when receiving this kind of response as well, which is amazing!

I hope that everything goes well with your tutor! Please feel free to reach out and let me know how you're doing with everything.

Best wishes,

Olive

HealingTalk January 22nd, 2023
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@phuntphunt

Hi!

I invite you to watch this Youtube video (which is part of the LDP course material, here at 7 Cups).

https://youtu.be/6QupnaPvz4Q

I hope it's helpful.

All the best!

Marcelo.

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