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phuntphunt
1 516 M Embraced 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts79 Forum posts19 Forum upvotes33 Current upvotes33 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceJanuary 28, 2022
Recent forum posts
[RANT] how to deal with a difficult person in a group project?
General Support / by phuntphunt
Last post
 October 21st
...See more hi, i'm back for my group project, i am in a group of 4, with 2 good friends of mine, and one "friend" whom i found was very controlling. i have grouped with that "friend" many times for the past few years for different projects, and to me, she always came off as the kind of person who makes sure things go her own way. she never blends in or adapts to the group dynamic. and if we change something she does in order to blend in with the group, she gets upset. she is never the kind of person who is willing to work as a team, and is often seen alone in the class, without any "friends" whatsoever. for another module, we planned to be in a group together, but she backed out last minute because she had problems with one good friend of mine, saying that good friend doesn't contribute when the good friend did pull her weight. my group's presentation is in 2 weeks (28th october to be exact). last week, the "friend" complained to me about how she was the only one in the group who is doing "everything" for the presentation - what she did was to sit closer to the front and listen to how others do it to "get a sensing" of it and learn from their mistakes. me and my 2 other friends sat at the back and occasionally, we paid attention, because we had work to do and deadlines to meet, unlike her, who seems to be a little bit more "free". yesterday during the seminar, she sat at the front again, but was disappointed that the rest of us didn't do what she wanted us to do, which was to sit at the front with her. while sitting at the front was something she suggested, it was not an agreement that we made with her, so we were free to sit anywhere we wished. so when she started complaining about it, i started to make sarcastic comments, telling her things like "you're not the boss" and reacting with clown emojis to her messages, because i was simply tired of the way she acted towards us. later after the lecture, she told us that she was "very disappointed us", saying that if we were okay with sitting at the back we should "let her know" so she knows that we are aware, and that we are "on track". and in the message, she pointed me out in particular for my sarcastic comments, saying that if she were the boss, she would have scolded us rightaway for sitting at the back. she insisted that she is just doing her job as the member of the team and "worries" for us, and also pointed out that the prof will give us plus points for participation (in reality, participation marks encompasses a LOT more than sitting in the front row). lastly, she reiterated that she wants us to work as a TEAM. enraged and in the heat of the moment, i instantly took to dm's and pointed out how much of a hypocrite she was for yapping about team dynamics and teamwork when she is the one who always goes on her own path and tries to force her way into a dynamic that doesn't fit her, and called her selfish for complaining that she's the only one doing all the work. all she does is sit at the front of the lecture and listens to the other groups presenting. meanwhile, my other two teammates have dug out legitimate research sources that we can all learn from, and have even started coming up with presentation outlines for the next two weeks. i too will start filling up the presentation content in the coming days. after i sent the message, the "friend" stopped talking altogether. even when my teammate asked for a good time to meet online to coordinate who does what, she does not respond, and has yet to respond until now. reflecting on this, i was definitely in the wrong for personally attacking her in the heat of the moment 2 weeks before our presentation, but really, i was just speaking up on behalf of my other two teammates who were also very sick of the way she behaves.  moving forward, within the next two weeks, how should i personally approach her? and how should me and my two teammates approach her and *try* to get her to do her part for the presentation?
tough love
Anxiety Support / by phuntphunt
Last post
 January 22nd, 2023
...See more i categorised this forum post as a general topic because i'm not sure how do i really categorise it as. on monday my tutor said that she would sometimes give feedback for our work firmly or harshly, but then it shouldn't let us develop thoughts like "my work sucks", "i'll never make it", "i suck", etc. what i inferred was that there will be some form of tough love in the process. i am the kind of person who doesn't take tough love well. i'd either panic, break down, develop self-hatred (thoughts like what she mentioned), or maybe get a little self-defensive. i'm only 20, and i know that down the road there will be many more instances where people show tough love towards me. if i keep reacting this way, i don't think it'll do me any good, and i want to fix that. how can i receive tough love in a more "healthy" manner?
a little question
Anxiety Support / by phuntphunt
Last post
 January 20th, 2023
...See more it’s the beginning of a new semester for me, and we have to form groups of 4 for this module that i’m taking. all my friends are grouped. when i approached people if they want to group with me, they are either grouped or intending to quit the module eventually. right now i’m stuck with people whom i have no clue who they are. how do i approach them? how do i work with them? contacting people whom i’ve never met before for the first time gives me really huge anxiety, like i cry, break down, take one steps forward and a few steps back. is there anything i can do to overcome this situation?
250 days milestone
Self-Harm Recovery / by phuntphunt
Last post
 October 5th, 2022
...See more i found out that today i have reached 250 days since i purposely cut myself. recently, with a lot of expectations from school, it was really hard for me to not do it again. but seeing milestones like these kinda kept me going.
i don’t feel like doing anything
Anxiety Support / by phuntphunt
Last post
 July 15th, 2022
...See more i just keep replaying horrible things that happen to me in my head and i can’t get it out
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