people can't handle my problems
I've noticed that 1)talking about things that are stressing me out is a coping mechanism, and 2) people do not want to hear about all the things i have to deal with.
I'm sure that part of that is a personal issue ( do I complain too much? Is my glass permanently half-empty? Or am I just dealing with an unnatural amount of troubles?)
People ask about them. What's going on with you? They think that they want to know. What's troubling you? And so I tell them. Broken sink, family drama, work scheduling issues, resurgence of trauma, etc etc. And the silence that follows is so telling. They don't know what to do.
They mostly just say, "wow, that's a lot."
Am I piling my plate too high? Am I not doing the things that I need to to prevent these situations? Am i not communicating enough? I don't know.
All i know is that the world constantly wants things from me, and I only have so much to give.
@affableStrings4654
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through so much lately and that nobody seems to be able to handle any of it when they hear about it, it sounds really lonely and isolating. A faulty sink, trauma, work and family issues. It is a lot. It isn’t necessarily your fault — some people may have a harder time than others supporting someone who is managing so much all at once, and a lot of us are busy with life, and that’s fine, but it really doesn’t help you and it seems to only make you feel more alone and exhausted. What have you tried to cope with all of this? If anything helps.
@affableStrings4654
I feel the phrase .. wow that is a lot is a nice way of trying to finish the conversation. It might not be about you but they simply have either no advice or help to offer.
If that is the case i know people who always focus on the bad are often dismissed. It is easy to fall into that when it seems there is one problem after the next. I found when i start down that path i find ONE good thing no matter how small to bring to the conversation so others can feel comfortable in knowing it is not all crisis and drama....
If someone does engage perhaps giving you a different idea how do you respond? I have a friend who tells me all her issues i make a suggestion she says it won't work .......then after she thinks about it she tries.... some suggestions work some not....... but she also dismisses me, in saying she "discovered" a way to fix something. Not that i am in need of recognition but find it a reason NOT to offer up suggestions or help in future.
I get it. Maybe, most people can't handle the level of things you go through. Some people can't hear what's going on with you because it might trigger them. Most times, for me, I just want someone to actually hear what I'm saying. Not fix it or whatever, but just listen and am question that sparks my own solution.