facing mortality and the uncertainty of the future

@sweetsummerday

Hi. I was about 18 or younger while started my therapy, and the guy who was my therapist seemed to be desperately trying to convince me to any religion or belief. I was reluctant to that, but after some years passed I thought he was right: There is no point in any therapy when you have no idea about what life is... or what afterlife is like for you. Because what's the use of removing a flat tyre, while I am unsure if I can drive my car at all?

I think that having any "religion" is one of the "tricks". You don't have to declare yourself Christian, Muslim, Buddhist or anything else. Just think about what kind of God you would be able to believe: Is that a human-like person, or more of a spirit? Or maybe you'd prefer to call it a Higher Power or the Wisdom of the Universe (or, like in a classic song from my country: "the Purple Watchmaker of Light")? Do you believe we live only once, or can we reincarnate? I think that could give you some answers.

Another thing is mindfulness: Have you ever thought what this now "fashionable" word is all about? They say it is about concentrating on being here and now. I think that is also about "living my today as if tomorrow could never come" - in a positive sense. I mean doing my best every moment, being not too tied to my earthly possessions, not worrying about the future too much, and not postponing any important matters, especially connected with people.

Another option is treating yourself as already dead... Because we are doomed to die from the moment that we are born. I don't mean it too seriously, but rather like a some kind of a "mind exercise": Imagine you are dead, so... nothing can really hurt you! But, hey, it looks you are still alive! Isn't that something like every day is an extra time you've received? You can still do many good things: care about the climate change on the personal level, spread the anti-war message among people, improve yourself and help other people. Seems like quite a lot of options as for a "dead man", right? 😊 

A different trick is thinking about the world around you like of a video game. A very serious one. I mean, you can think you are not destroyed when the game ends. It's a game. But it's a game for you to show what kind of person you are - inside. Would you prefer the blue pill, or the red one? Some researchers say there is no "objective" reality, because each of us experiences the world through the gate of their eyes, ears, scents, smells, beliefs and understanding. So, the real "you" might never be destroyed, but you have to play this game, and you should do that as if it was a matter of... life or death?

Think about it... Your very existence matters. Thousands of butterflies using their wings at the same time could make this world turn around from the dangers. And you can still make this world a better one.

I hope any of those help 🙂 

My husband and I are in our 50s so I will try to give you our perspectives of death and the afterlife and all of the things that tie into mortality.

I was raised Christian and I have a firm God belief. I believe in the afterlife where I will see my relative and I will experience Joy and things are going to be great. Does that mean I’m not scared of dying? Absolutely not whether or not, I believe in an afterlife, death is scary because it is unknown, and everything that is unknown to us is scary whether it’s a big thing or a small thing.

my husband is an atheist. So, he thinks when you die, you die, and that’s it. So there is absolutely nothing to worry about, because all you have is what you have right here. So live life, enjoy life, and make the most of it with what you have right here and right now.

when I was a teenager, I was very scared of death. I went through watching my grandparents die, and I hated it. It was very upsetting to me as I got older, and now in my 50s, I’m not as afraid. I mean, yeah, I’m scared of the unknown, but it’s going to happen, and I don’t want to waste my life in fear about it. I can’t do anything to prevent it and so I want to live a happy life while I still have life. And after that, well, whatever comes next will come next.

my parents are in their 80s and they have a different perspective on death. They have a lot of illness so there are some days where they just say, we are ready. We are ready to die. And then there are some days when they are feeling better where they go, OK let’s go do something new. Let’s go have an adventure and do something exciting. Let’s continue to live.

every age group has a different perspective on death. When you are young, it’s scarier, because you don’t experience it as much. But as you get older, your relatives start dying, and your friends start dying, and it puts life into a different perspective for you.