beginning to shut down again
I just want my own life. I hate to say this but I don’t want to take care of my grandparents anymore. I’ve lived with them for 9 years and currently been the primary family member to care for them. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by my grandpas heart failure and dementia getting worse. On the other hand my grandma leans on me constantly with her mental and physical health. I’m practically his caretaker at 22 and my grandmother’s support system. I’m feeling myself begin to shut down again and having panic attacks.
Recently she asked me when the time comes and he gets to the end of his life if I would stay home (not work) and take care of him. The bottom line is I can’t and I don’t want too! I’m working part time and going to college part time. If I did I would use all my saving in a year.
I don’t want to do this anymore…I want my own life.
I’m tired and scared of having to sacrifice my life take care of others when my life hasn’t even had a chance to start.
@Country3262 It’s not wrong to want your own life, being a carer is a tough responsibility at any stage of life, but can hit particularly hard when you’re just starting out in the world and don’t get to find out who you are as a young person and young adult outside of these demanding responsibilities.
Have you looked into what resources are available for carers where you live? I think giving up your job to care full-time would be a big ask of anyone and maybe impractical, especially if there are options out there for professional trained support to come in and shoulder some of the burden and provide better specialised care for your grandfather.
You’re just one person, you’ve done amazing so far but carers need support too. If no other family can help shoulder the demands I hope there’s some professional support that could be right for your grandparents situation.