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I don't know how to open myself up to other people anymore. I constantly put on the mask that I'm okay. Even if someone asks me face to face I'd say nothing's wrong. But deep down, I know something is very wrong with me. I don't even think I'm supposed to be here. That I was supposed to be born. I always like to be in my comfort zone. I just want to be alone most of the time. I think that's when no one can hurt me. My social anxiety got worse. In fact, I crave isolation. I think I'm getting antisocial. But at the same time, I hate this. When I think about the long run, I don't like being like this at all.
You are amazing, did you know? You started your post with saying you don’t know how to open up… and yet your whole post was being very open!
we all love being in our comfort zones. There is NOTHING wrong with that. And I struggle with the term “antisocial.” Because it’s not really that, it’s about being selectively social. Because we all try to protect ourselves from hurt. The fewer people we have to deal with, the fewer people can hurt us.
Its not weird or wrong to want to be alone so no one can hurt us. It can be lonely though. Thank you for opening up to us here. You’re safe here.