Social anxiety is causing me to question myself...

So I have issues making small talk and getting past that "awkward" stage of making friends. I love talking about deep subjects like what's out in space, how the soul works, what happens to us after death, the paranormal stuff like that really piques my interests because it's so different than the surface level as far as communication. I feel like I can't hold conversations because recently people at work have been diving head first into stupid rumors and drama. It's hard for me to talk about others so easily. I question myself because I've tried active listening and it's hard when I can't personally connect with, let's call her Janet, sleeping around the office. (Which I know her pretty well and don't believe rumors) It's just the example, like wtf would I care if so and so is doing something in their own time on their own accord. It's none of mine or anyone elses business. I wish I could connect with people but they don't seem to want to discuss anything past the surface level so I feel left out 90% of the time when I'm the room. People don't go out of their way to talk to me or ask my opinions even though I reach out outside of work all the time. I feel like I'm just....here you know? And not a person