OCD + health anxiety (hypochondria)
anyone else’s obsessions centered around their health anxiety? ocd is already pretty tiring to live with, but when it merges with my health concerns i feel helpless. i spend all day performing compulsions so something bad won’t happen to me. i won’t feel relaxed until i’ve seen a doctor, and even then there’s lingering doubt that they missed something. health anxiety on its own is scary, but when i feel “responsible” for my health it’s constant fear. wondering if anyone else feels like this?
*hugs* I struggle with health anxiety in my own way and it is very scary. I’m afraid there’s something seriously wrong with me and my doctor just hasn’t discovered it yet. I think mine stems from a history of abuse which can make one feel damaged on all levels. Also different and alone. Anxiety can just run circles around what-if scenarios until you’re dizzy. Mine can at least. I even worry about if I ever did get diagnosed with something, how my doctor would feel. I don’t want to burden her or cause her to have a negative experience when dealing with me. I just try to remember that I’m okay. And bring my awareness back into my body. Slowing and deepening my breathing. 🩷 I hope you find some peaceful thoughts very soon 🩷🩷🩷
I thik i feel pretty much the same way. My OCD is also triggered by health concerns. I constantly fear that my closest family will get cancer or die if I do not look thr right place and think thr right thing , tap the right spot a certain amount of times while doing things. When it's bad I can barely put a spoon to my mouth to eat.
One thing that I've learned is that my OCD is a reflection of my internal body feelings. If I'm stressed, sad etc. my OCD gets worse. Since I'm not capable of controlling my OCD I need to control other variables that triggers stress, sadness etc. Also I try to avoid infomation that gives me anxiety.
Unlucky for me my parents (which as far as I know do not suffer from OCD) biggest interest is to read about diseases, illness, health and extreme diets to avoid all kinds of illness. Every 6 month they have read a new book and tells me about a new disease that my mom suffer from. It is typically very alternative diseases that is less scientifically proven. In my head that adds up to like 20 diseases that she suffers from. And they rarely trust the doctor, only their own books and alternative dietists. That makes me soooo worried.
Half a year ago I got very invalidated by OCD and lost my job for that reason. It has felt neccesary to stop watching news AND force my parents not to speak about diseases while im near because both worsen my OCD too much. And it is really difficult for them not to. Often I need to remind them (first kindly) not to tell about the latest achieved wisdom if it concers diseases. If they do not respect and keep talking, I need to raise my voice to make them stop and save my self from an OCD relapse. And every time I get really sad and cry when i get home. Because i feel so bad about having to raise my voice, which I don't want to. But the alternative is worse.
So I can choose between OCD or bad conscience. Since I have a litle son that I need to take care of and is pregnant too. I need to choose bad conscience. But I'm very much in doubt if I choose the right approach by blocking certain topics around the dining table. And I think it makes my parents sad, when I raise my voice.
@humorousGrapefruitIce thank you for sharing. that sounds like a really difficult situation, you’re very brave for standing up for yourself. i too hate hearing about illnesses and will try to change the subject if it comes up. Not that what you’re doing is anything to feel guilty about, but maybe to deal with your feelings of bad conscience you could try explaining to your parents how hearing about this stuff makes you feel?